So this is probably going to be my 2nd to last post, cause I'll post one more with like a conclusion next week.
Today was the first STI Clinic at the HOPE Center. We tested 13 students for HIV and 11 students for Hepatitis B and then like 15 other random health screening tests. They will come back to the Center Monday and Tuesday for their results. While it was really cool to see things come together, there were a few things that happened that put quite a damper on the day for me and knocked me off my high horse from Monday.
1. When the students first arrived (they came in a mini bus from the Polytechnic) Opening remarks were given. Usually, to negate any possibly of power struggle, I stay basically mute during all of these public events. However, I had to make a comment today because in the opening remarks the question "Who is here for HIV testing" was asked to the entire group about 5 times. Independent of cultural differences, values, etc - that is simply not a question that should be asked to a group who came to our Center specifically for its discreet location (which was kind of the whole point of adding testing to the Clinic in the first place because the hospital is the exact opposite of discreet). So while I make a point to stay quiet and keep all of my opinions to myself and have been for the past 5 months, I actually turned to the speaker and said, why don't we just let the students write their test requests on these cards you asked me to make so that we can keep everyone's privacy. And then I set up a system where the kids write their name, phone number, and requested tests on a card and then call up students 2-3 at a time, sending those for HIV pre-test counseling with the counselor and the others to wait for the lab. Then after counseling the students who wanted HIV tests were told to wait in the same place as everyone else so that it was not obvious who was getting HIV tests and who was getting the others because all the tests were a simple blood drawing. Then the counselors (who it was their first time counseling) were like "Who's getting HIV tests" in front of the entire group. Thus me being like "here are the cards" lets stop asking who is getting HIV tests in front of the whole group! Plus - all I was doing was asking the staff to follow GHS policies and not act in away that is exactly opposite to the whole program which was a purpose we ALL came up with!..... I could not live with myself and keep my mouth shut there.
So what ended up happening was (and I say this as un-arrogantly as possible) I ran the whole thing, bring people to either Peace, Isaac, or Edith for counseling or just to the lab for other tests. So I was the only person who did anything to actually facilitate the testing (which was NOT what I should have had to do, I should have been totally in the background - this was not sustainable) So while yes, we have this testing now at the Center, I don't have a lot of confidence at the moment for how the quality of it will be carried out in the future.. I have written out a protocol so that things can be more discreet in the future but I have no idea if anyone will ever take it seriously because of the following..
2. Before leaving for Egypt I had spent like 6 weeks designing the entire 3 day Peer Training Workshop, creating a participant manual with educational handouts and a facilitator guide that spells out step by step exactly what to say, do, and even designed simple and culturally significant activities. Point - I had never planned on doing "training" but that was what the Center staff wanted. I left these 2 manuals at the Center to be reviewed by the staff so that when I came back we could run them by the District Health Director then I could print out 100 of them. I even wrote an email while I was gone with a reminder to go over these Guides. On Monday I said "hey did you look through these, what do you think." I was told, "Yes, and they are perfect, you should make the copies now."(thats pretty much a direct quote. Well today, I was briefly looking through them with another person and it was becoming apparent that this was the first time anyone has seen them so I non-nonchalantly ask "did you actually read through them?" And then the answer is now, admittedly, NO. Then I was told, before you make the copies, Director needs to go through them. At this point my last nerve was about to snap, and said as politely as possibly - I asked that these be approved while I was away so that it could be done when I get back which is what you had previously told me was done.
My biggest pet peeves of all are lying, taking credit for something that you haven't done, and when people don't follow through with what they say they will do. Those have always been what bugs me most and today each one of those was addressed!
So it was supposed to all be done, and I thought it was, but apparently I was lied to. Literally, the entire program, and everything that I have created was either requested explicitly or the ideas of the staff in the first place. And then once I do it, its not even looked at. I was asked to create a pre-counseling form based off the GHS one, showed it to the staff on Tuesday, got the approval, and then at the end of today, my boss was like, hey can I see one of those, I never really looked at it in the first place.
The whole point of posting this entry is simply to let the people who may be excited about the program or financially support it know the truth, that yes there's lots of good, but there are definitely still lots of issues.
My solace is that, I've still done everything I've set out to do and done it all based on local policies and with the input of Center staff, I really can't do anything about apathy - that's a systematic problem. And come next Wednesday it's out of my hands and I can hope it continues the way everyone has talked about but I cant control other peoples' commitment. That's my limitation and I've completely come to terms with it. Totally zen right now.
So, yeah I'm pissed at how today played out, but still stand by my last entry where I'm still psyched that I've really done everything that I set out to do. Woohoo in 5 days everything is out of my hands so i cant be pissed, or frustrated, or hurt when other people don't do what they say they will do! just going to relax and accept that what will happen will happen.