That was the statement Nikki made on UK Big Brother in 2006 (I think), and I completely agree.
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Home Sweet Home (42 unread)
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I was born to be rich...
» Home Sweet Home ... but I don't have any money!!
That was the statement Nikki made on UK Big Brother in 2006 (I think), and I completely agree. -
I'm Home!
» Home Sweet Home ..... and have been for a month and three days!
It has been bliss!!!
Benig home has reminded me just what family means in this country. In the past month, I have lived in no less than three houses, all filled with people who have made me a daughter in their family. The rest of my family and friends who I don't live with just pamper me left, right , and center; they are all going out of their way to ensure that I am enjoying myself at home. It is humbling (and tons of fun, because I LOVE being pampered).
Esi Cleland once remarked on her blog how many of her friendships picked up the moment she got back home, and it's been the same for me. Oh, oh, oh - the benefits of taking trotro: I met a friend I hadn't seen since class 5 in a trotro! And we recognized each other instantly!
Did I mention I have gained at least 3 kilos since I got back home? Banku and grilled tilapia with shito; bofroat; jollof rice with meat;Papaye; BANANAS! Ripes, sweete succulent Ghana bananas; Pineapple and watermelon -my friend Quizzie says the ones we've had have been juicy, succulent, SWEET, plush, ripe..... just orgasmic (her words, not mine, but you can't disagree); kenkey and fish; WAAKYE with all the accoutrements: gari, talea (hehe - aka macaroni), WELE, meat, fish, eggs, sometimes the salad! OMG, I think I have waakye at least 5 days out of every 7!
Church! You don't know how great it is to hear people singing in Twi, Ga, Ewe, and English. You have no idea how great it is to see women dressed in kaba and ntama.
And Ghana boys! And the fake pick-up lines!
(On an aside? Why don't I ever attract the young professionals? Ever? I only get the kobolos and the non-serious people. Always. Obviously the problem is me)
Oh, oh, oh, I am living like a rich person! It is so much fun to take "dropping" and have the taxi all to myself. I even went to the overpriced Silverbird cinema! But sometimes, i come to my senses and take trotro, and then spend half the time praying to God to spare my life from these drivers who will gladly kill me in their haste to get to their destinations.
And the weather has been cool too - even though I am always hot...the weather has been fantastic.
Rain, rain, rain. Proper rain (I wasn't in Accra during those floods), but rain...proper rain, even the ones which fallt he whole day. The sound is heavenly. And the smell of the earth (if you don't live near any gutters)..... yes, the o-word again.
And Sunyani is a beeyoootiful city!
What else?
THE WORLD CUP! (I can't watch the Ghana games because I don't want to die of a heart attack)....
I am working now and I must say that I really and truly admire the dedicated workers we have in our public health services. Working in Ghana's hospitals if you are a dedicated person will drive you insane, if you aren't careful, and many of these people still somehow remain dedicated and manage to keep sane. more about that later.
Mebbe I should do another post about all the cons (I am tired of writing, see....I am quite a lazy person, and more so now that I am home).
But yeah, it's TERRIFIC to be home. the only problem is....
I still haven't found any tsofi! (Well, we passed Nsawam, where there was some, but I was asleep, dammit!) But we will persevere until we find some. Ok. I am off to gain some more weight..... with my rice and goat meat stew waiting for me.
Catch ya laters! -
Brixton Market Bliss
» Home Sweet Home A coupla days ago, I went to the Brixton market with my aunt, then yesterday with my mother. It was fun. It reminded me of Makola, only neater, better smelling, and more organized. I got some Malta Guiness! You have no idea how long it'sw been since I had malta guiness.
And yesterday I went to the phone shop (not in Brixton), and the salesdude......my goodness, I wanted to swoon. I LOVE British accents, and his was especially perfect! He was not too bad-looking to top it off! Heart palpitations. But he was 'average', and as a short person, I don't believe in average or short guys - only tall ones. So that was the downer. Hehe.
You can tell I have not been up to much good, no?
Oh, oh, oh, I checked the grades, and I am now officially a rising senior! I don't know whether to be happy about that or not. What if I can't get a job after graduation? But God dey, no? So He'll take care of that bit. Me, now when people ask me, I won't be saying I'm a junior anymore. You have a nice weekend. -
I Knew It!
» Home Sweet Home This is exactly why I choose to stay one continent away. Less than two weeks and a fight has already broken out. And it's always my fault, since I am the most stubborn most difficult person to live with ever. never them.
And I mean, there is some truth to what they say - enough people have told me that I am the most stubborn person they know, so that accusation is fair enough. But of course, being perfect, there is nothing they can do wrong. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I need to get to Ghana already! -
London
» Home Sweet Home I landed in London a few days ago after the WORST flight experience of my life (missing bus, paying $230 instead of $70 to get to the airport, paying $275 extra for a flight I DID NOT MISS, paying $70 for extra luggage, having to THROW AWAY a lot of that extra luggage....not fun).
And here are a few impressions:
- did I ever mention that I think British accents are the bomb? I haven't heard any other accent in the world that is as mmmm wonderful as the British accent, so that's always fun.
- back in the day, I used to convert everything into cedis, now I just convert them to dollars, and mehn, Londres is expensive!
- those cheats of taxi drivers! the metered taxi drivers wanted to charge me over 70 pounds to get to my parents' place, but the cheap cabbies at the information desk got me there in a little under half that!
- the quaint little houses and roads make me smile. Everything is so small here. And I think that's great.
- what else? I LOVE British television. Well, not the TV shows - I like the ads. The ads are innovative, funny, and of course, all the British accents being thrown about.... I love British ads.
- Sainsbury's ice cream! And the ice cream truck!
- Oh, and it's great to be with my family again! My sister has marshaled all of her friends to come see me, and they think I'm cute (hah! me cute! all of these children of today!)
- Gone shopping in overpriced stores (I mean - these people are selling clothes for 14 pounds that I can get in Yankee for $12 - cheats!)
- Already have my parents complaining about my eating habits....sigh.
Oh well, it's great to be in London once again and soon, I'll be in Ghana, yayy!
But of course, all of my money for the summer was spent on that horrible flight (see first sentences above), so half the fun of being in Gh is gone now that I'm going to be broke....
I am tempted to say 'never again' to those cheats Virgin Atlantic, but you never know....
Oh well, see you in Ghana soon, hehe. -
Welcome to Lagos
» Home Sweet Home I have watched the documentary. And I have read the comments.
You know what this whole brouhaha (that word again, hehe) reminds me of? It reminds me of my professor - the one I wrote about.
Anyway, so Will Anderson decides to "welcome us to Lagos" and goes to a rubbish dump, a slum on stilts, and a slum on the beach. Cue the complaints. Ordinary Nigerians asking why they couldn't show Lekki, or Victoria Island, or Moshun (hope I got it right) or any of the other semi-decent places in Lagos, if they couldn't have at least spared a moment to show the better part of Lagos, after all Lagos is not all slums, and we don't all live on rubbish dumps or stilt slums or beach slums. Cue the other Africans, complaining that all we ever see on Western television is a picture of Africa as poor, war-torn, hopeless, and that this video just reinforces that stereotype. Cue in Ole White Afro (aka Wole Soyinka in other circles) complaining about how this video is patronising and speaking to the idea of 'the noble savage.'
And they are right. The narration at some places is quite patronizing, and reminiscent of the noble savage; there are better places in Lagos that they could have shown, to give the docu some balance; and we are tired of the way western media portrays Africa.
BUT!
Here's why we complain when western media portrays Africa as war-torn:
1. Somalia, Congo, and Sudan are NOT! representative of the continent as whole - MUCH less than half of Africa is war-torn at any point in time, so to only show wars when speaking of Africa is unrepresentative.
2. To show starving people, or poor people and speak of them as people who have no agency is racist - and that is what the western media does. So we complain because the moment you don't give a person agency, or the right to assume agency, you are saying that said person is not the same as you (who have agency), that said person is in a sense, lesser than you. So we complain, because it's racist and rubbish.
The reason we CAN'T be complaining about the BBC's documentary.
1. About 70% of Nigerians live on less than $2 a day. That is what we call 'destitute'.... it's not even hand-to-mouth living (and before you start complaining, it's same in Ghana too, so I might as well be talking about Ghana). Most of the other 30% are working poor - i.e. living from hand to mouth. They make JUST ENOUH to get by. Just enough to eke out a living. JUST enough. The rest divide themselves among professional, middle class, and rich.
2.If Lagos is 75% slum (Accra probably is more), then it means that there are more places in Lagos that resemble the video than there are that resemble the rich or the middle class places we so bitterly wished Will Anderson has shown.
So you know what - that video IS representative. It's representative of Lagos, it's representative of Accra. There are more people that live like Vocal Slender and Chubbey and Esther, than there are that live like me (and you).
The worst part of it is, those people's stories are never heard. We don't give them a voice because we are ashamed. Why should Will Anderson film Olasosun dump? Well, why not? Lemme bring this to Ghana because I don't want to be crucified for talking about Lagos.
Why should a documentary show people chilling at Frankie's or working as a clerk in some office instead of spending the whole time focusing on the woman who sells food at Sodom and Gomorrah, or focusing on the people who live at Osu rubbish dump, or one of those less-than-appealing Zongos all over the place? Let me tell you why. It's because we don't regard the people who as live in the rubbish dump as people. To many of us, they are nameless, faceless, nuisances. They are personae non grata. After all, they don't speak English, and they are filthy - they live in a rubbish dump(or filthy slums, or look extra dirty, or smell), for crying out loud! And ours is a society that doesn't regard those things. We always want to look like we're on the upswing, so we never let them tell their stories, they are silent - neither to be seen nor heard. We silence them because their stories do not show the kind of image we want to portray - destitute people are not respectable, you know. And our goal is to look respectable. Instead, we want to talk about the people who rose from poverty to become doctors and footballers, or those who are working class but wear nice clothes to go sit in their secretarial office - at least that is a polished image. We want to talk about our Ayikwei Armahs and Wole Soyinkas and Chimamandas - that is dignified and note-worthy. We don't mind looking at Dansoman because it's not a rich area, but it's not a disgusting area either, so we comfort ourselves by telling ourselves that it's true that most Ghanaians can't afford trasacco, but at least most of us live at Dansoman, Lartehbiorkorshie, Mamprobi, or even Osu R.E. But we never think about Ga Mashie proper, or the rubbish dumps,or Sodom and Gomorrah, or the Zongos - because those people are NOT even on our radar. They are not people to us. So we get ashamed when they are showed on TV, and we fume: "this is not representative of Ghana! There are places like Osu, people don't just work on the rubbish dumps, there are clerks, and doctors, and teachers among us. The western media should be more balanced (and as I've pointed out, there is a big difference between what the western media usually does - giving no agency - and what the BBC's documentary did).
Well guess what - NEWSFLASH! If 70% of Ghana is living on less than two dollars a day, and a good chunk of the remaining 30% are working poor, THEN THE TRUTH IS THAT FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION, THEIR STORY IS MORE SIMILAR TO THE EXTREME (PERSON LIVING ON THE DUMP) THAN THE MIDDLE ( DOCTOR OR CLERK STRUGGLING TO KEEP HIS FAMILY) - our curve is heavily skewed toward the extremes!!
So there are more people in Lagos (and Naija) like Vocal Slender than there are like Ole White Afro, Chimamanda and all the doctors and nurses and cloth sellers. There are more people in Accra whose lives resemble Chubbey's than whose lives resemble mine. But soft, forget the Western media. Let's look at ourselves. When have we ever given voice to these people? Never. Because, they are not people to us. They are invisible. It's a shame.In a way, it's even worse than 'noble savage'. Is it not worse to be invisible to your own than it is to be 'noble savage' to a bunch of ignorant strangers? White Afro complains about noble savage, varous Nigerians complain that "are they trying to tell us the doctors and lawyers and clerks don't exist?" Well let me ask you - When was the LAST TIME WOLE SOYINKA VENTURED INTO OLASOSUN DUMP, OR TALKED WITH A ROADSIDE HAWKER ABOUT HER LIFE? What does he know about living on less than $2 a day presently? When was the last time he let them have a voice? No one is saying there aren't doctors and lawyers in Lagos - there are just more destitute people than there are doctors and lawyers and whoever else you think is respectable, so they warrant more of an audience.
Welcome to Lagos for me was a jarring documentary. It made me realize that these people to whom our society (and me) don't even give voice to ARE ALSO PEOPLE! They have hopes and dreams just like me. And they take pride in in their hard work, just like me. Joseph works on the dump so his kid can have a birthday, just like I will one day work in the hospital so that my kids can live in a fancy house at Teshie Nungua Estates and drive that brand new BMW. And they are UNITED? They rallied together to pay Vocal Slender's debt! How many of our associates will do that for us? The video didn't make me sad for all the privileges that I've had - it just reminded me that I was wrong in thinking that Ghana (Ghana, Naija, it's all the same to me) contained more people like me - middle class (well, my family was more like working poor, but the schools I went to gave me middle class sensibilities, so....) - lower middle class person trying to fight the system to get to middle class or upper middle class, so I can enjoy a better life. No, the greatest number of our people live in places I wouldn't DREAM of stepping into for a second, like that rubbish dump, fighting to make it against all odds, just like I am; they have agency too, and they use it to hope and forge a better life for themselves. Shame on anyone who was too embarrassed about "the portrayal of Lagos" or "the portrayal of Africa" or "noble savage" to look past and see humanity, dignified humanity - not people MORE dignified than myself because they're so poor yadda yadda yadda, but people JUST AS dignified as myself. For the second time in my life (first was Professor Shipley - I wrote it up somewhere), I have realized that I am guilty of horrible discrimination. For the second time in my life I've realized that the people my country gives no regard to, are just as human as I am, and have as much dignity as myself.
We won't become a better country, a better people, until we realise this. Their stories are worth telling, and the BBC told it and told it excellently - the people telling their part, not the narration.
So THANK HEAVENS! that BBC did that video and ignored the 'better parts' of Lagos. When you look past all the obvious faults of that video, the lesson it comes with is one of the most valuable that I have learned in all my 22 years on earth: a person is a person is a person, no matter what! It's a lesson that should be reiterated more often.
Oh yeah - happy Mothers' Day! -
Blood is thicker than water...
» Home Sweet Home 
This post is for my family.
When I was about 14?15? my mother left for the UK in search of greener pastures. She'd been a nurse at Korle-bu since before I was born, and after having served her cuntry and having nothing to show for it, she decided to move to the UK to find work.... her family needed the money. A year or two later, my little sister went, then my dad and my brother. I stayed behind. I was finishing LCS, and I didn't want to go anyway.
After LCS, I came to the US to study. So for almost a decade now, I haven't lived with my immediate family for extended periods of time. So, sometimes I feel like a stranger in their midst. But that's nothing new - even from childhood I sometimes felt like everyone understood each other and no one understood me. Well, they also feel that a lot of the time I don't understand them, hehe!Many times I have been hurt by something someone in my family did, and I don't think I've still forgiven some of the things that have been done to me. But I have hurt my parents and siblings too, and I don't always realise that.
Amid all the resentment and pain, sometimes there are quiet moments. In those quiet moments I reflect on how blessed I am for being in this family (ironically, my name - Eyiram- means God has blessed me, hehe). Today is one of those quiet moments.
My parents sweated and toiled to send us to good schools so we would have the best chance possible. They were working poor, but sent us to a middle class school, so that we would see how they other half lives, and that we could have a shot at a better life than they've had. They tried as best they could to give us a great childhood (and my childhood was the best of times!)
My parents and siblings may not always understand me, but they support me in all my endeavors, always, without fail. They pray for me. They worry about me being off in a strange land all alone. They worry about my well-being. They have a vested interest in my happiness. They want me to succeed. They love me.
.
Yes, yes, I know. In the grand scheme of things, this is nothing special, after all, that's what happens in many families the world over. Well thing is, I don't often realize that. Too often I am focusing on the hurt and the pain and the issues. But underlying all of that is a strong current of love, a current that is stronger than the hurt, pain, etc. So I wrote this rambly piece for my family. They are wonderful people, they love me, they are on my side, they have my back...and you know what? I love them too (who wouldn't? hehe) I have a vested interest in their happiness, and I have their backs.
Next week, I'll see them again for the first time in 1.5years. I can't wait! To be among my own again, to be among people who've known me as long as I've known myself, who can remember things about me that I can't remember, who know me as I truly am - good, bad, and ugly - and love me all the same....I can't wait. -
Missing Home
» Home Sweet Home 
That's exactly what I'm feeling - that's in addition to the passionate feelings of intense dislike (mebbe even hatred) for the UN and various NGOs that I've been having lately.
I miss Ghana. It's home, you know.
I miss waakye! And not the kind you make at home. Heck, I can make my own waakye. I am talking waakye from the roadside. We (my partners in crime and I) had at least 4 waakye spots that I can think of! We even had a breakfast waakye party going on at Lincoln - every Tuesday to Friday, 7:am: that's how dedicated we were!
Fufu, light soup, palm nut soup, groundnut soup, banku, Grilled Tilapia, Red-red, kenkey and fish, rice...GOAT MEAT!!!!! In the past week, I've been dreaming of domedo, goat meat and red-red. It's so sad.
I miss trotros. No, I don't miss the haphazard driving or the crampiness of trotros, but I miss the camaraderie. Some of the best conversations I've heard, I've heard in trotros. Brief, snatched moments of community with perfect strangers - love it!
I miss all the junk food. I am a sweet tooth! And a junk food junkie. I figure if I have to choose between living long and dying happy, Imma go with dying happy! So I do get my fair share of juk food in, and then some. Tsofi with fried yam, the egg with shito, DOMEDO!!!! (You know, for the longest time, I didn't know t hat was pork). Papaye! KEBABS! Kofi broke-man! And you know, a lot of times, Ghanaian junk food also has some nutritional values, so it's all great! I miss GH junk food!
Chinese Restaurants. Some of the best "Chinese" food I've had, I've had in Ghana. Yankee Chinese food has nothing on Gh chinese food!
I miss fruit that actually taste like fruit: pineapples that taste like pineapples and bananas that taste like bananas.
I miss all the nosy people. I like my independence, sure enough. But I miss having all those nosy adults offering unsolicited advice, and asking unwanted questions - they don't do it because they are mean. They do it because they care, and they want the best for me, even if they go about it the wrong way. I miss that - having people all around you who care about you and who have a stake in you, or who have made themselves have a stake in you.
I miss the rain!! US rain is soooooo wimpy! I miss real rain - the type we have in Accra. I miss the smells of the earth that come up after the rain. If you live in a place where the drains are not clogged, the smell of the earth after rain is amazing! The garden of Eden must have smelled like that in some places.
I miss church! I really do! i miss singing in Twi, Ga, and English - you know, God is multi loquious, not just English-speaking.
I miss seeing everyone wear kaba and slit on Sundays or whatever. I miss seeing African print around.
I miss walking down the street and hearing Twi, Ga, English, Pidgin, Ewe, and everything in-between. My Ga has become rusty, my dangerous twi has become even more dangerous from non-practice, and my non-existent Ewe has slipped even further into obscurity.
I miss the Accra Mall - i haven't been there since before it came into its full glory as the all-purpose hang-out for everyone.
I miss Makola!
As sad as it may sound, I miss Ghanaian tv programming. Most of it was of the so-bad-it's-good variety - provided us with many moments of hilarity.
How many places can boast all of these things?
Exactly!
And that's why Ghana is the greatest! -
Biblical Justifications
» Home Sweet Home Hmm!
Um.....the reason for this post lies in this blog post by blogger Solomon Sydelle and the brouhaha (love that word!) that followed in the comments section: [www.solomonsydelle.com]
The post was about a girl who had been raped asking for advise on what to do. It may be callous of me to say this, but what was more interesting were the comments. There were the usual comments - you know, commiserating with the rape victim, expressing outrage on her behalf and apologising for her harrowing experience....and then BAM! we had our 'Christian' woman come in and basically intimate that the rape was the girl's fault. Oh, she did splash in some comments here and there about how rape was the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to a woman, blah blah blah. Her are a cross-section of some of her comments:
@ EDJ, What IBRAHIM did was WRONG! Please don't be confused! The friend is asking for advice & in our uncivilized society, MARIAM, would be made mockery of by the police themselves!If a gun was put to her head, or she was overpowered by a group of men, they would be sympathetic to her cause. BUT, she was DRUNK! Which is number offense! Refusing help from her friend who was not comfortable about she being on her own in that state is HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS! These are the points, a defense lawyer would use agaist her in the court of law! Yes! women are their worst enemy as we are the greatest pretenders on earth! It was a woman that made GOD to send them out of the garden of Eden! It was a woman that caused a man to get a son from her slave which had caused a generational feud up to today! It was a woman that caused ASABA to be made a capital which led to massive killing! What about Joseph & the Pharaoh's wife?
if na my sister or relation, i go take am go hospital then look for the boy to ask how e take happen, then i go give them long lecture, but police na no go area, because i no want the whole street to hear our matter & spoil her chances from getting a serious guy in future to marry! P-L-E-A-SE! HUSBAND RAPE WIFE? Na for oyibo country that nonsense fit happen! Make una stop to disturb una sef with JUSTICE because she is not getting any in 9ja! waffi & suga, make una reach 40 & never marry then you go see how your married friends & your mama & society go de behave towards una!
if it was u... the thing happen to, i go ask una how come you can not remember a log ramming into you,& you rotating your waist like a belly dancer & crying out in ecstasy? I would tell the doctor to treat you both for SELECTIVE AMNESIA! Since you can tell your friend not to follow you home & refused to stay in her room!
And my first thought is why? why? Who are these people? These people that defend a rapist by blaming the victim? And why must they use the Bible? in fact, do they actually read their Bibles? Why? So the Bible says Eve ate her apple - did she force Adam to eat the apple too (or whatever fruit it was)...and what does Adam and Eve have to do with being raped?
There are so many things obviously wrong with this poster's opinions
eg: what the hell do you mean marital rape isn't possible? or that it's an oyibo' thing? Don't African men rape their wives
Um...she WAsN'T enjoying it! It was not consensual!
...Anyway, as I was saying, there are so many things wrong with this poster's opinons that I can't possible go into all of them (Sugabelly has done it all for me). Let's stick with the Biblical bits becasue many times, we Christians defend something with the Bible and refuse to hear reason. And you know, when you're arguing with someone who's using the Bible as their foundation, you're not going to get anywhere if you don't use counter-arguments from the Bible (I should know.... I am one of those people). Sometimes, even those don't work.
And it's sad. It's sad because when we think like this (like our poster), it means that the girl who was hurt won't get any justice, and that boy will go scot free, free to hurt some more girls. And we'll have another generation of boys who think it's ok to take a girl by force...... Back to the Christian peoples:
How many times have I heard that a woman can't leave her abusive husban because God says you can't divorce a person unless he's unfaithful to you? we conveniently forgets that God asks husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Jesus DIED for his church...he didn't go about abusing it - but no, that doesn't count.
How many times have I heard that the Bible says "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, so that you may live a long time in the land..." But we conveniently forget that the very NEXT verse says "parent's do not provoke your children...." but no, that doesn't count.
How many times have we heard "Spare the rod and spoil the child" used as justification for abuse (spanking your kids is different from abusing them)....
How many times have Christians used the Bible as our reason for being absolutely HATEFUL, SPITEFUL, HOLIER-THAN-THOU?! How many times? Jesus never condoned sin - he called sin by it's name: adultery, fornication, theft, whatever. But you never saw the adulteress running away from him because his attitude was holier-than-thou (and he is God, mind you!) Oh and how Jesus repeatedly calls out the Pharisees for these same attitudes....but no, that doesn't count.
Apart from all my preaching, what I am trying to say is that it's an effing shame! Imagine being raped and having someone tell you it's your fault because you were drunk, or that you can't report it to the police and get some justice because if people find out you were raped no man would want to marry you. As if you'd want to marry any man after that!!!
The poster was right: women are their own worst enemies. If women can think like this poster, why won't rape continue unabated?
Let's be real - the poster was also right in this one way: this is Nigeria (it is easily the same in Ghana). We live in a society which mostly blames victims of rape for their ordeal. In fact, even in more liberal societies (US, UK, Europe) people still blame the victim. Imagine in our conservative, male-dominated society. Reporting the case to the police likely won't get them to being the guy to book. But does make it right? HELL NO! Does that mean we still sit shrouded in silence? No! But instead of encouraging this girl to speak up, to name her attacker and so shame him, instead of her taking the shame, we have a woman who's telling the girl to cover herself in shame, and be silent. Because that's what happens when you're silent about rape - it becomes your fault: otherwise, why won't anyone want to hear about it?
But with so many people reading and misinterpreting their Bibles this badly, not offering help where it's needed................ it's doubly worse to be a victim of rape in our society. First the rapist, and now, these Christians! PS: The way our society is, blaming the victim isn't something only Christians do - we all do it....across all spectrums. So I guess I should end with....first the rapist, now these Ghanaians! -
Happy Easter
» Home Sweet Home The Lord is risen! Happy Easter!!! -
The things common to all men
» Home Sweet Home ">[www.uibk.ac.at][www.uibk.ac.at] />
You can usually find me complaining to one of my friends or some professor that a lot of the white people in our classes are very culturally insensitive and they don't know how to treat people whose lives/'cultural memory/national memory/beliefs are different from their own. Of course the unsaid implication here is that I am not culturally insensitive. Well, it's not completely untrue and I think it's human nature ( I wasn't very culturally sensitive either in the days when the only people I knew/hung out with were Ghanaians whose experiences and opinions were similar to mine. It took exposure to different types of Ghanaians, foreigners, as well as living in other countries to get me to open up my mind).
But anyway, it isn't as true as I thought, that I am less discriminating than the people I am always complaining about. Here's what happened.to make me realize that.
I think of my anthro professor as a Ghanaian in a white man's body, that's how at home I feel in his class. He lived in Ghana for about four years or so, he taught at University of Ghana - he even acted in Cantata and 'Dark Sands' - How local is that? A white man in Cantata - my twi isn't even as good as his! The reason I am rambling on about him is because of this video: [www.youtube.com] . It's a documentary he's making about the world cup.
In the video Ghanaians are talking about the world cup. Some of these people are educated, others not.When I was watching the video, I felt proud of the people, because they were my people. But I was dismissive of some of the 'uneducated' ones when they were talking. Like the boy (I think his name is Yakubu) that was talking about Brazil when explaining why it's imperative that Ghanaian football advance. When he was speaking, I was thinking to myself, 'what do you know about international football matters?
Fast forward to when I met my professor to talk about the video. This is what my professor had to say about Yakubu: "He's from the north, he is uneducated - i think he stopped around JSS 3 or so. He can't read or write, but he has a great command of English, Twi, Hausa and other languages. He has intricate knowledge of how international football works. Listen to him talking about players and contracts and all these things. He knows how they work, and yet he himself is illiterate. It's fascinating. Also, see how knowledgeably he talks because we've allowed him to speak, whereas when he's around other older Ghanaian people he's quiet because he's often written off as uneducated, ne'er-do-well."
He hit the nail right on the head. Is that not how Ghanaian society is, by and large? (At least I've discovered that's how I am). Here's this person who takes people at their face value, as people. Me... I take people as face value, so long as they're educated. Hah! It may not be the same as discriminating against people because of their skin color or gender (or then again, maybe it's the same), but it's not too far removed from that either.
G.K. Chesterton writes that "the things common to all men are more important than the things peculiar to any men...the essential things in men are the things they hold in common, not the things they hold separately...[that all men have noses is more important than the different shapes our noses come in]"
Being a person is more important than being a white person, a black person.
Being a person is more important than being an educated person, a learned person, a renaissance person
A person should be treated well and given the benefit of the doubt just because they're a person.
I forgot this lesson.
So I guess what I am trying to say is.... I am not as undiscriminating as I think, and listening to my professor was a wake-up call for me. I'm going to try to start seeing people as people again, without any criteria. -
Colonized minds? Or historical revisionism?
» Home Sweet Home In my anthropology class we are reading a book about Ashanti women in the pre-colonial and peri-colonial days. This book presents a very liberated picture of women. My friend also says a foreigner who visited Ghana expressed surprise at how liberated women are in Ghana. Tsitsi Dangarembga (sp?) has waxed poetic about African women's sexual freedoms before the white men and their religion came to us.Thing is, I am not sure I buy that argument. And I don't know if my point of view is colored by misinformation also! I am not stupid enough to believe that everything was horrible before the white men and their religion came to 'modernize' and 'save' us, but I am not stupid enough to believe it was all fine and dandy either. Growing up in Ghana didn't give me a good opinion of the collective Ghanaian treatment of women. The older they were (ie, the less colonialism they'd experienced) the worse their opinion attitudes towards women were, it seemed.
As a Ghanaian woman, your every worth was (and in many ways still is) tied to a man. You may be the best most compassionate doctor, the sweetest person person, a wonderful and true friend, but you will be held in less esteem if you aren't married (why else would a legitimate reason for not nominate Alima Mahama as NPP VP candidate be "she's not married; she doesn't have children?) Oh yes - you better produce children after the first year or two of a marriage or else. Even if you and your husband are agreed to wait before kids, society won't let you be - the snarky comments will come your way (and those comments hurt! Sticks and stones will break your bones, hurtful words from your own people will break your spirit). Many women (some that I know, and some I've heard of) would rather be trapped in an unloved, abusive marriage than be divorced or single, because of the stigma. A childless woman is viewed as less of a woman. The book we were reading says that women were allowed to divorce a man if he wasn't givnig them children. Fair enough. But in reality, how many times have you heard of a case such as this? Is it not the men who are always clamoring that their wives are barren (can u imagine how many women had to suffer so much scorn when it was probably their husbands that were infertile?!) The book also says that in matrilineal societies, it was female children who were prized more. Hmm - but I have heard the proverb (supposedly from some matrilineal ethnic group in Ghana: please don't crucify me, I just said I've heard, not that I know for a fact), the proverb which is said at the birth of a child, when asking for it's gender: "Is it a human or a girl?" Doesn't make one feel very precious now, does it?
We vaunt Yaa Asantewaa as a display of female liberation. But according to the books, wasn't the only reason Yaa led the charge that the men were too chicken to do so? Wasn't that why it was so shameful to the men and so brave of her? She led the war because the men were emasculated. So Yaa ascended to the position of power when the MEN who held it had abdicated that power by being too chicken to fight the Brits. Not so liberating a picture now, init? Yes, matrilineal society, queenmothers are important, but in the end, is it not the Asantehene that is the highest authority of the land?
Women are expected to be subordinate to men in every area: work, home...life! You are never a woman by yourself. It is always in relation to your husband or children. It is true enough that many times it is women who identify themselves in relation to other people, but even so, identifying yourself that way should not take away from being a person too. A la Tsitsi Dangarembga, it's no use being taught secrets of sexual pleasure, if I can't marry someone of my own choosing, and even less if I'm married off to a man old enough to be my father. There's even less to be said for the rationale behind the practice of FGM. The treatment of widows....I could go on an on.
I asked the two other Ghanaians in the class with me what they thought of my opinions. After a bit of debate, and disagreements here and there, we came to this consensus: Even then (pre- and peri-colonial days) and now, what Ghanaian women have is CONTROL. We are the backbone of the economy (who's in the markets and running the informal sector: women). We are very outspoken and let our voice be heard. But all of this control doesn't translate into POWER, which is what matters. What is the use of being the backbone of the economy when the spending decisions are taken out of your hands? What is the use of being the backbone of the country if you have no say in running it? What's the use of being very outspoken if your words are given little attention or credence? What is the use of being elevated as a 'mother' in society when it is your husband that determines your reproductive choices? What is the use of being allowed to divorce your man when the society will hound you for it, or if he almost always divorces you first? What is the use of laws that uphold your rights if the in vast majority of cases your rights are not upheld? What is the use of a 'wife' being an important role if you have to live with abuse and no support (because 'that's how men are' or because 'God said so')? And the things I've seen, I've seen from 'Christians' and traditionalists alike.
And oh yes - one or two cases that show 'liberated women' do nothing. I can show one or two cases of anything to support my points. The measure of how liberated women are is in whether the majority of women are liberated. Having 10% of women liberated in the country doesn't mean much if 90% are still repressed - the country is a country of repressed women then. Showing that in 10% of cases the law upholds the rights of women doesn't do much when in 90% of cases, the law (which btw is supposed to uphold our rights 100% of the time) doesn't uphold those rights. Then for all intents and purposes, the law doesn't uphold our rights. If 10% of professors don't demand sex for grades, but 90% do, then the country can be branded as a place where sex for grades rules. Catch the drift?
No society anywhere in the world has fully 'liberated' women. But I do think that the western world has progressed furthest in giving women both control AND power. I do think that a good majority of African women are repressed, repressed by culture, society, religion (although there is a burgeoning set of 'liberated' African women). I do with all my heart believe we are less repressed now than we were back in the days before and during colonialism. No amount of lilterature will convince me different (at least, they have to try way harder than what I've read so far) because my experience bears me out. Mine eyes have seen, truly or falsely, they've seen for themselves.
So..... am I wrong? Am I thinking along the right lines? Or am I the product of a colonized mind?
PS: I found a disclaimer of sorts in the book which states that we should not assume from thepicture they paint that women weren't oppressed in those days. They note that women are also not necessarily more liberated today. It is just the the oppression manifests itself in different ways then and now. So some freedoms we had then, we don't have now, and some we have now we didn't have then. -
Movie Review: Jodhaa Akbar
» Home Sweet Home ">[wallpapers.oneindia.in][wallpapers.oneindia.in] />This past week, a lot of my time (when not playing foolish games on facebook, or staring at the ceiling or reading nonsense novels) was spent watching Bollywood movies - some old faves, and some new ones. I figured I'd do a review on some of the ones I watched.
I love Bollywood. I can even carry on simple conversations in Hindi because of Bollywood. I grew up watching 'Hindi movies' on TV3, and we'd talk about them in school on Monday, after discussing the Sunday Ghanaian or Nigerian movie. and then when I went to LCS, made Indian friends who would lend me their copies of movies (without subtitles - that's how dedicated I was) and watched some more Bollywood movies.
So anyway, we've established that I love Bollywood, and that I fancy I can speak Hindi (hah!). Now Bollywood produces at least 800 movies per annum, most of which are not too good,But there are a few good ones, fewer great ones, and some truly excellent ones. In 2009 I heard of a Bollywood movie called 'Jodhaa Akbar' and the rave reviews it was getting. I didn't pay too much attention for two reasons: 1. It was a period piece , so I thought, "meh" and 2. It didn't have any of my usual faves (Kajol, Shahrukh , Rani, or Preity). So I let it pass. You have to understand, unless it's really, really good, or you have a ton of time on your hands, you don't want to watch a bollywood movie. They are long! And this was a period piece (translation: even longer).
To stock up for spring break,I checked out Haverford's Indian movie collection in the library and was pleased to find that they had Jodhaa Akbar. Then a friend told me she loved the movie, so I got more excited about it and set out to watch it. It took the whole afternoon (3hours 33 minutes of running time). It was well worth it. The movie is simply breathtaking. It is an epic in the class of Gladiator, that's how good it is.
Jodhaa Akbar stars
">[aishwaryawedsabhishek.files.wordpress.com] [aishwaryawedsabhishek.files.wordpress.com] />Hrithik Roshan as Mughal emperor Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar
Aishwarya Rai as Rajput princess Jodhaa
Amitabh Bachchan as the narrator in the beginning (he doesn't play a part in the movie, but his voice is damn sexy!)
Jodhaa Akbar starts with a fairly long narration of the background story, so we know the history behind the whole thing. It basically boils down to this: Generations of Mughal emperors set out to conquer India, the most successful of which was Jalaludin Mohamed, who was later given the title Akbar (meaning 'great'). The Mughals were muslims, so of course, the Indians, who were Hindus, were not too keen on being ruled by Muslims. They also weren't too keen on being forced to give up their autonomy to a foreign invader either. One of the ways Jalaluddin cemented his hold over India was by making an alliance with one of the royal families of Rajput. He married the Hindu Rajput princess Jodhaa, not out of love, or compassion, but because then Rajput was one less kingdom he had to worry about and he could spend more time trying to gain a hold over the rest of India. The movie is the story of how amid all the political intrigue, Jodhaa and Jalaluddin find love in each other.
">[dearcinema.com][dearcinema.com] />
Ok. Now for the analysis. First of all, who isn't fond of love stories where everything ends happily ever after? Exactly! So that is the first indication that this movie is going to be fun.
Second.....Hrithik, Hrithik, Hrithik. The man is fine! And there were lots of scenes of him strutting, strolling, prancing about just looking his wonderful tall, sexy self. One particularly memorable scene is when he's practicing his swordsmanship bare chested....I wanted to swoon! Ah the man is fine! He is was perfectly cast as the earnest, young, true king who is trying to do right by his people (even though the people didn't appreciate their land being annexed by force), and who has the makings of greatness.
Ashwarya did well as princess Jodhaa. She carried herself well and was believable as the willful and stubborn princess Jodhaa.
The dialogue was ell done in some places and laughable in others. Can you imagine an emperor of the 15th century saying to one of his most trusted guards "you rape our female prisoners of war, and kill male prisoners of war, and that is wrong":yeah, no. i am not buying that. It was also a bit unrealistic to me to see how patient Jalaluddin was with Jodhaa. He acceded to all her demands and even told her he wouldn't try to consummate their marriage until she was ready. Yeah, right. Which ruler in the 15th century would have acceded to a woman's demands? And not just that - the demands made him look weak in their eyes. How at all could he have agreed to having a hindu temple built for her in a muslim fortress? It was bad enough that he was marrying a hindu! And then after all that trouble, to have her resist at the wedding night! Yeah, so I didn't buy the historical accuracy of how gentle he was, but accuracy schmaccuracy, who cares when Hrithik is looking so divine?
The cinematography and the costuming were what made this film epic. Beautiful, Intricate, elaborate, opulent, ostentatious. The necklaces the King wore , his shoes....the fabric of the princess's clothes, her shoes, her sleeping quarters (I swear her bedroom alone was the size of a three bedroom bungalow in Ghana). Extravagant, that's what it was.
The songs were beautiful, but not catchy :( which is a shame, because it would have been nice to get a new set of songs. All the ones I know are from older movies.
My favorite scene and song (haha, two in one) was the scene where Jalaluddin and Jodhaa finally acknowledge their love for each other and consummate the marriage in a massive bed in a massive room. It goes something like this. Akbar says to Jodhaa, 'walk with me, I have a question for you'. They walk to a room filled with mirrors and a massive bed. Akbar waits till the sunset hits the mirrors, which lights the room golden, and asks, "Do you love me?" Of course she says yes, and he admits to loving her too.....the sunset gives way to darkness and the song begins. Of course its Bollywood, so you don't get to see the consummation, but the song and 'dance' sequence that led up to the bed was whimsical, quite beautiful, really.
All in all, it is an epic movie, an Indian epic movie. It doesn't appear as 'larger than life' as other bollywood movies have appeared, but this was still quite......epic in its proportions. I would put it in the league of Gladiator any day. And the message of religious tolerance it carries with it is wonderful too. So there you have it: great scenery, even greater costumes, a beautiful actress, a handsome, gorgeous, majestic PULCHRITUDINOUS (hehe) actor, a winsome moral woven through..... what more do you want in a movie?
I rate this movie: 9/10 -
A Serious Question - well, 6 of them
» Home Sweet Home Happy belated independence day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're 53 years!!!!!!
Ok - moving on to the question:
So I was reading a blog instead of doing my work (as usual) and this time, the post was on the subject of relationships and how men think blah blah blah. Anyway, one poster made an interesting comment.
She said people (read: women) had to stop being so rigid in their ways and realize that reality is different from our ideals. she gave the example: if you have a boyfriend and you guys plan on getting married in say...2 years, but you don't want to be sexually active before you get married 9or for whatever reason), it's all well and good. BUT it's unrealistic to expect him to remain celibate for 2 years.
This poster suggests that due to the unrealisticness of expecting your man to remain celibate if you are also going to be celibate, you allow him, er, sow his wild oats, so to speak, with a few rules:
1. complete disclosure, aka tell me when sleep with other people,each time (before or after the fact?)
2. discretion: sleep with other people, but do it on the down low.
3. make sure he gets all the cheating sowing of wild oats out of his system before u settle down.
4. Oh yes - pray about it (it is beyond me why the poster thinks prayer is going to be helping. If I were God...let me not even go there)
So...my question 1 is this: is it just me or is this poster smoking some serious pot?If for whatever reason one partner in any relationship is not feeling comfortable having sex, why not either both abstain or break up?* And WHY, but WHY?! is it okay under any circumstances to give your man the go-ahead to cheat? Hell-o? Once he's gotten the go-ahead during the relationship days, what's to say he won't want to sow more oats during marriage? So if we get married and for whatever reason I have a low libido, is it okay for him to go have affairs? WHY? Let's expand it a bit further: let's say we're in a sexual relationship, but I'm uncomfortable with something he wants to do - say.....oral sex. Is it okay for him to go get it from other people?
Here's another question: what the hell does 'full disclosure' mean? Does any girl seriously think any guy would be telling her if he contracted gonorrhea from someone else? What about chlamydia - that is usually symptomless, so he won't know he has it if he catches it. And then what if he gives it to her at a later date? Would any guy tell you he slept with your best friend? Full disclosure my foot! in this day and age of STDs! Obviously the memo on STDs has been lost in circulation.
How about a third question: why do we (read: African women) act as if it is a given for a man to cheat? Men are not babies with no self-control, nor are they animals, driven only by instinct/desire. They are men!And even so - we train our animals and our babies, so why not the men? The only reason men act like such babies with no self control so often is because of idiot reasoning like this poster's - we let them off! what the heck?! yes, it is difficult to control sexual impulses: difficult, but NOT impossible. No wonder the men are so happy these days - they can do whatever they want and say "ah but I am a man! It's how we do!" and it's ok. Ahh!!! At the root of it, this is not an abstinence/no abstinence or archaic/contemporary or realistic/unrealistic issue. This is an issue about self-control. It is thinking like this that lets men think they can cheat, that makes it okay for men to cheat. It is thinking like this that lets men contract STDs and pass it on to their wives. It is thinking like this that makes it okay for men to cheat but not women. It is thinking like this that reinforces negative ideals about women and wives being frigid, because obviously, there is something wrong with a woman who won't have sex with her man, but then tells him to go have sex elsewhere.....
Question 4: What about the women? Does it ever occur to us that women who choose abstinence ALSO would very much like to have sex, just not before they're married (or whatever?) The women keep their libidos in check, don't they? I just don't get it. What about if we are in a sexual relationship and his drive is significantly higher than mine - should I allow him to -er , shall we say - let off steam, with other people on the DL to give me some reprieve? Why is it acceptable for a modern, liberated woman to think this way?
My final question is: Will it be okay for women to do this too? But of course, I forget - any woman who has a higher sex drive than her man or wants to have sex while her man wants to be abstinent is usually labeled a nymphomaniac...so that's that. To be sure, that poster said that if you allow your dude to sow his wild oats, maybe get him also to let you date other guys will he sorts himself and his libido out. But just DATE, not sleep with other men (bcos of course, u want to be abstinent, that's why your guy's out cheating in the first place).
FINAL final question: why is it okay to think like this? Especially as a 'contemporary woman?ARE U KIDDING ME? Methinks this poster needs to get together with that gay porn pastor from Uganda for some prayers. Or am I being unrealistic? I seriously want to know - u know, just in case i should ever be faced with this situation or a friend, whatever.
*The reason I say that they should both abstain or breakup, instead of saying that the girl should just sleep with the guy is because sex is supposed to be a consensual activity. Any sex that does not involve 100% agreement between the parties is coercion, which is not too far from rape.
PS: And since I am amazed at my penmanship (LOL, ignore me, I've had too much pepsi to drink), lemme just add:
Telling a man to cheat, but do it discretely and let me know when you do it is
1. selling myself short as a woman. If I am giving him my best, I deserve the best, including a faithful man
2. fraught with dangers like STDs
3. denying my man the opportunity to be a man, to assert himself over his sexual urges.
4. telling my man i see him as a child, or an unbridled animal. No one wants an animal or a child for a mate. we want a man! a man: a strong, assertive, caring, loving MAN. No one who cheats is any of these.
And no man wants a woman who doesn't see him as a man: a strong, assertive, caring, loving man.
PPS: How's God going to be answering prayers for a faithul man if you're encouraging him to go and be unfaithful? -
When will this foolishness end?
» Home Sweet Home So here I was looking through BBC instead of doing my homework (that just feels weird to say), and I come across this article in BBC. A Ugandan pastor (one of those who supports the death penalty for homosexuals) showed GAY PORNOGRAPHY IN CHURCH as a way of showing that gay people are depraved beyond measure and ought to be put to death.
There were many questions running through my mind.
First of all - why is this a legit way to show anything? If i gather a bunch of people and show black people porn (which, from what i hear, is disguising itself as Ghanaian movies nowadays) does that prove that black people are unfit to live and should be killed off?
Secondly - are these people aware that we don't live in theocracies anymore? In ancient Israel, they put to death gay people - that was because Israel was a theocracy. They do that in Saudi Arabia (Do they?) and Iran (???) because those are theocracies (well at least, it is against the law). Uganda is a DEMOCRACY! my goodness - what part of that don't people understand? Oh and btw, in ancient Israel, they also put to death adulterers, fornicators, i think, even drunkards and disobedient people. So if they want to kill off people - i think they should try for those first - starting with all of those people in the church!
Thirdly - whatever happened to Paul's admonition to 'live in peace with all men?' I understand disagreeing with homosexuality (note: the ACTION, not the person) on religious grounds, but why would anyone want to kill people for voluntary actions? We don't kill rapists or thieves! Now here are two people involved in consensual victimless actions and we want to kill them?
Then it hit me: Where on earth will a PASTOR know how to ACCESS pornography? Let alone GAY PORN? Now, I don't know about you, but that makes me mighty suspicious. Any pastor who can produce porn gets a side-eye from me.
And what church is stupid enough to think showing porn to the public in anyway shape or form is ok? Obviously the leadership of the church and its congregation have issues. -
The Thing With Feathers
» Home Sweet Home Emily Dickinson was right, and so was King Solomon.
Hope matters, it really does.
It gives you the courage to veer off the beaten path
And pursue your dreams instead - do what matters
Hope is..... it's simply..... INVIGORATING
It breathes new life into things
It puts a spring in your step,
A twinkle in your eye,
Joy in your soul.
It makes you dream of a better future
It makes you want to try, try, try again
It's the Thing With Feathers
That perches in the soul
-- Last week, I saw hope transform a friend from a wonderful person who was planning to do the dutiful thing to a wonderful person who was planning to follow her passion - all in the space of like, 2 seconds! It was fantastic to watch...... so just so you know: keep hope alive! I'm off to see if I can scramble up some hope for myself! -
An Old Type of Foolishness
» Home Sweet Home Hai...........
so this trend of me feeling sorry for myself hasn't abated (the last post was deleted because I realized certain people whom I adore might be hurt by it, so....yeah). However, instead of self-pity and feeling-bad-at-pitying-myself-when-I-should-be-more-grateful, this time I am full of righteous indignation.
For the past school year, I have been telling anyone who would bother to listen what an awesome junior year spring semester I was going to have because I would be away, studying in Botswana! I would be studying Biology and learning to speak Setswana and living in Southern Africa! In Africa, I haven't traveled outside of West Africa before, so I was excited- no exhilarated, in seventh heaven.
Then comes time to apply. Ei! Nakai w0 y00!!! Is that how we are?
I got approved for the program about a month before it was due to start - a little late. Oh well. I applied for the Botswana visa - since Ghanaians need a visa. Get this - those people wanted to keep my passport for SIX weeks, before they would gimme a visa. SIX weeks! Where does that happen? SIX weeks! Even after calling (and having every authority I could get - from Haverford to The University of Botswana) call and see if they could talk to these people - they still wouldn't budge! And to think this is in the USA! So if I was applying from Ghana, what would they have done - kept my passport for a year before deciding!
Then came the insult to injury: Americans and Europeans (virtually all of Europe) can enter Botswana without a visa. Me, who shares the same continent, the same piece of land with them, they want to hijack my passport for six weeks.
I don't care what anyone says, it's a travesty. And now, Bots is one of the countries on my blacklist - anything good I had to say about it.....no more. It's gone from being 'that wonderful country' to being 'that useless desert country of 5 million who think they are better than us because of a few diamonds - hah!' Do they even reach five million people? All I know is I can subtract every Botswanan around from the population of Ghana and still have at least 15 million people left. Ah!
It's ridiculous! 6 WEEKS! Are you kidding? Why? Is that country that gateway to heaven? Lord knows even more developed countries don't ask to be keeping passports for 6 weeks! MTCHEW! Ai - and they are even part of the African Union to top it off! Foolishness!
I share the same piece of land with them, oh- and an 'African' Union, but they plan to make it difficult for me to enter their land while some person across the oceans can up and go there anytime they want. Why?
Oh well. I am done with Botswana. Never again. Because this type of foolishness is enough. I am sticking to Nigeria and Togo and Senegal and Burkina from now on! (And any other country that won't try to steal my national identification for over a MONTH!) I mean - heck - I can even go to Jamaica without a visa - JAMAICA! Across the damn ocean! And then these people - hai....it makes me sad to say I share the same piece of land with them.
Hmph! No more! This type of foolishness has no excuse! We are supposed to be a union, for crying out loud! And yet foreigners can move through this union better than I, a homegirl can.
The effontery! The cheek! The unmitigated GALL! Kwasiasem! -
What would you rather : the journey or the destination?
» Home Sweet Home I figure I am young and foolish, so it's the perfect time to be prideful and self-absorbed. After all, young people often are such, and so we are excused when we display traits like these- but excessive pride and self-centeredness would not be so excusable once I am an adult....so yeah! I am allowed!! Beware: this post is one long self-absorbed ramble....forewarned is forearmed.br /br /Here's the thing: I remember many instances from my childhood very easily (I remember wrongdoings as easily, so don't mess with me, haha) and I remember how I used to change what I would be in future every week. But by class six, it was set: I wanted to be a doctor, and of course, everyone encouraged me. A couple of friends also wanted to be doctors and we would sit and talk about what we wanted to specialize in, and our plans for the future (ie, go to Gey Hey or St. Roses or Holy Child, and then apply to UG med school - no KNUST for us, hehe).....simple. And it was going to be fun, because what is more fun than going to school with your childhood friends?br /br /But alas, the best laid plans of mice and men.... br /I left in JSS 1 to go to Lincoln, and from LCS, I left for college in the States. I am studying Biology now, but I am also doing so much more, and I even want to go to public health school now. br /br /I have changed so much from my class six days - I am much more open-minded now (You just can't imagine how close-minded I used to be - and i still have a ways to go yet), and a more well-rounded person. I still prefer to hang out with people I have similarities with (aka - black and/or African) but I can hold my own with people who are different from me, and I can even enjoy their company; I still hold my beliefs close, but I can make allowances for other people's beliefs too, and I know that it is okay if people disagree with my beliefs (it doesn't make them bad people just misguided, hehe just kidding)....br /I have made amazing friends I would never have met if I hadn't gone to LCS or Haverford. br /br /I am not a doctor yet, and won't even be entering med school for a while, but I am just a much better person for all my experiences these past ten years. br /br /BUT here I am sitting in my dorm, wondering if life is passing my by. The friends I made my plans with did go on to Wesley Girls, St. Roses, and Holy Child, and are today in UG med school. They will begin their first clinical year next year, my senior year of undergrad; two years after that, they will be doctors, and i will probably just be getting in an application to first year of medical school. br /br /They followed the plans; I didn't. They are almost at the end of the road to that MbCHB degree; I haven't even started yet. It feels like life is passing me by. br /br /In my heart I know that it is not a race to the finish line, that it doesn't matter that they become doctors before I do, but I can't help thinking that life is passing me by. br /br /And I know, I know that the journey matters more than the destination - heck, I have already given some examples as to why this roundabout route has made me a better person already....but I still can't help it. I think life is passing me by. br /br /I know it's not true (and it's also funny how I never thought life was passing my friends by when all the good stuff was happening to me) but I still can't help it. br /br /I don't know how to stop it - this selfish feeling....br /I just wish I could be more thankful. I am very happy for my friends, but I shouldn't be feeling so sad, especially since my life has been so enriched by this detour. br /br /So many people I owe thanks to - God, my family, friends that have become family, teachers who took special interest in me - so many people have been involved in this detour that is my life, involved in making me a better person, that it is just not right not to be grateful. It's not right not to think I am living an awesome life. I am, I truly am - I couldn't have come up with this life I have now in a million years - and yet here I am thinking that life is passing me by. br /Ay, Lord have mercy on me. br /br /Hopefully, it's just a phase and I can get back to enjoying the journey soon!br /br /Ok - that's the end. I'll try to be less self-absorbed after this (I still retain the right to some selfishness - like I said, I am young and foolish!)br / br /The journey is important, and so is the destination....but which one is more important? Journey? Destination? I mean, you plan with the end in mind (otherwise it's just silliness)......so which should be the main focus? The journey? The destination? Oh, I am confused!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-4018653293227386429?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div -
The Money-Grabbers
» Home Sweet Home Hmmm!
So as usual, let me have my two pesewas. I read on myjoyonline that Former President Kufuor refused a severance pay of slightly less than $90,000. Now I don't know whether this was supposed to be a one time payment (in which case he was probably - emphasis on probably- right to refuse it), or whether there'll be subsequent payments, but this I know: have our politicians no shame?
I mean, here you have a country where at least 70% of us live on less than $2 a day, the other 25 are barely managing to make it from hand to mouth ( and then there's the elite, but they don't count here, lol) and we are giving 5-figure dollar amounts as severance pay for public officials (and yes, the president is a public official, and a servant of the people). Doesn't make any sense to me at all.
And then the justification they give (a la some Ghanaian MPs and Mo Ibrahim) is that we don't want these 'leaders' to be traumatized, their being used to so much authority as president, so we give them this much money to make them not hold on to power. Really? Really? Re-al-ly?! Being the extremist that I am, I say shoot them by firing squad if they refuse to step down after their terms have ended.
But seriously, doesn't it seem a little excessive (and no, don't compare it with the US president's end of service benefits, because the US, unlike us, doesn't depend on AID organizations to provide money for its national budget. And 70% of people in the US don't live below the poverty line). GHC 90,000 (a little less than $90,000). Why so much?
Ok. Forget about that. If they can afford to pay former presidents $90,000 give or take, don't you think they can afford to make our roads safer? At least give our hospitals some modern equipment? Pay doctors and teachers and civil servants slightly better? Create national campaigns on awareness of HIV/AIDS and mental illness? Pay the police a little better?
Jus' wondering -
Christmas and New Years.....
» Home Sweet Home Happy New Year!!!!
Although, you know, at Christmas I always wonder.....
here's the thing:
Mary was a virgin when she was giving birth to the Lord Jesus.
I am guessing since Israel was no longer a nomad group then, Mary wasn't doing a lot of riding horses or anything too strenuous....you know, the sort of vigorous activity that breaks hymens. Does that mean that she still had a hymen as she was giving birth to the savior....
Didn't that hurt, having a baby break your hymen? On top of all the pain of childbirth without an epidural? Or was giving birth already so painful that a little extra pain from a hymen didn't hurt?
That is one question I really want to ask God and Mary herself when we get to heaven...
PS: I finally saw District 9 on Christmas Day!!! Interesting movie, to say the least. Happy New Year! -
This whole natural hair debate thing
» Home Sweet Home
(haha, finally, a post that has something to do with Ghana...well, sorta, kinda).
It is only in the past few months that I have realized that there is a 'natural hair' war raging among black people, esp. in the USA (from what I can tell). The premise goes something like this: Natural curly kinky hair is what comes out our heads, and God made it that way, and so it must be good. If you are black and are using harmful chemicals to relax it and straighten it means that you aren't comfortable with your hair, and/or you have some latent self-hatred adn/or you have an unconscious desire to be like white people......
Just thinking about it, I tend to agree with people like Boakyewaa Glover and the girl who wrote a scathing critique of Chris Rock's "Good Hair" - that really and truly, I am not my hair. My hair may be an extension of who I am, but it is not my identity. It is not even that important a part of that identity. I remain myself whether I dye it blond, wear it natural, wear it relaxed, flat-ironed...whatever. Hair is hair. It is dead (Only hair roots are alive, being embedded in the dermis and all, but hair is fundamentally dead). I can't even liken relaxing hair to making another change…say….bleaching the skin. Hair can be changed. It will grow back. When I bleach my skin, it does show discomfort with who I am because bleaching the skin is usually an irreversible process. It is done on living elements of our body and does cause cancers and stuff like that. Even so, discomfort with oneself doesn’t signify self-hatred (I have ALWAYS wanted to be tall, and dislike being short. I fervently wish my nose was snub like some of my Ghanaian friends, instead of just spread all over the place. That doesn’t mean I hate myself. Even if I had rhinoplasty to make that nose snub wouldn’t still mean I hate my self – it just means I am uncomfortable with myself).Back to the subject, I don't know if relaxers cause cancers, but I know for sure hair straighteners don't. Hair is just hair. It isn't living. It will grow back. And whatever a person chooses to do with doesn't mean they are self-hating.
What got me started on this spiel was reading an interview with Kuorkor Dzani, owner of Twists & Locs, a natural hair salon in Ghana.(Here’s the link, so you can make sure I am not misrepresenting Kuorkor’s intent: [dotfaf.com] ) I was excited about it until I realized what she had to say about her decision to start Twists & Locs. She said it was because having our hair relaxed is another manifestation of how self-hating we are as a people and our disdain for and our wish to disassociate ourselves from all things Ghanaian (or something to that effect, at least that is how I understood it). I would like to suggest that her statement is an untrue one, and reeks of the rhetoric used by black people in America/the West (you know, trying to be like white people, etc) when they argue for a shift to natural hair. The American/Western situation may be one thing, but the Ghanaian one is different - or at least that is how I feel, and I have been accused of not seeing things as they are many times, so....it may be that it is I who need my eyes opened.
But anyway - maybe in the distant past, during colonialism, or whatever, we wanted to be like white people, so we kept our hair straight or whatever...but now it's not so. Our hair is mostly relaxed/straightened because we don't know any better. We are told it's easier that way. And for many people, it is. My hair is very thick, dry, coarse, kinky...it is the poster child for kpenkpeshie hair. You could only comb it once - in the morning, IMMEDIATELY after I showered, and then, it was too thick to comb, too unyielding, and by God, it hurt to comb! As if to spite you, after it was combed, it would begin to knot after about 2 hours, so that by the end of the day, it was matted, horrid-looking, and as dry as heck. My hair has been known to break combs and even stop barbers' electric razors. It was painful to care for. So my mother had it relaxed. Then she tired of that, so we cut off the relaxer and went back to natural. So it was a vicious cycle in my life - a year relaxed, three years natural, a year relaxed, three years natural...and so on and so forth. The last time I relaxed - in 2003, I think, my hair was damaged by the relaxer. But I kept relaxing for 5 years after that - simply because it was more manageable. At least I could COMB it! And at least I could go through the day looking decent!
In 2008 I cut off the relaxer and went back to natural because I was in school in the US, and I didn't have the money to be paying for relaxers. I used texturizers for a while, and then went chemical-free, downcut - natural, like i had been so many times before.
Why did my parents relax my hair? Was it because of a desire to dissociate from Ghanaian-ness? No! Because they didn't know any better! We didn't know how to take care of the hair! It is the same reason back in the day many people gave their kids English names only, or people insisted that you must have an English name - they didn't know any better. First people were given English names (in colonial times) to remove them from their cultural identities and 'whitify' them, then it became the norm, so that you stood out when you didn't have an English name. Plus - it was just more convenient: Who wants to go about having to answer everyone as to why they didn't have an English name? And you know what, I like my name, but sometimes, I just wish I had an English name so people wouldn't bungle my name so much. Do you know that in three years I have rarely heard Naa Kwarley pronounced right? Do you know that most people just call me 'Naa' because the Kwarley is supposedly too much of a mouthful for them to pronounce (and I wouldn't want to hear it anyway - I HATE having my name bungled, even if people can't help it because of their accent or whatever!). Or in Ghana, having an someone call me ‘Naa Korley’ because their ‘Ewe or Akan or Hausa accent won’t allow them to say Kwarley (I won’t even mention how badly Gas mess up my beloved Eyiram). It would be so much easier if I was called Lucille or Morgan, or something like that. But my parents gave me only Naa Kwarley Eyiram as my name, to reflect both my ethnic groups, and I love my names. But does that mean my sister and brother who both have English names were given English names because my parents were self-hating? No! Most people don't know better! The same reason we relax our hair is the same reason we think America is the land of Gold (because we don't know any better. I never thought the day would come where I would see a neighborhood in the USA and think the people of Sodom and Gomorrah were better off) and the same reason we give our children English names (sometimes we don't know any better, it's what has always been done, and it is just plain darn more convenient - you want to sort through the naming order of the Gas? Or figure out how to spell Nutifafa in English - they don't even HAVE some of the Ewe alphabet) . It doesn't have much to do with self-hatred or a wish to remove ourselves from our Ghanaian-ness. Maybe 400 years ago, that was the case, but certainly not today.
I have been growing my natural hair out for the past nine months and am learning to take care of it, and I am having a blast. But it is soooooooooo difficult! It is kpenkpeshi of kpenkpeshi. I spend wayyyy more time and money on my hair now that it is natural instead of relaxed becuase natural hair (mine, at least) is so much more difficult to manage. But I am learning, and enjoying it. I won't relax anymore, or straighten because I know I can take care of my hair.
I don't know. I was just really disappointed with Kuorkor's assessment of the situation. It sounded like Westernized rhetoric to a problem that is both Western and Ghanaian…and I was disappointed. Or maybe it’s just me reading into things as usual…..
But congratulations to Kuorkor for Twists and Locs – I will definitely be hollering when I am in Ghana – I WANT THAT FROHAWK! -
Young Woman II
» Home Sweet Home Another set of questions I've been pondering lately.....
No longer a child
But not fully adult
She must find her way,
She must find herself
Who is she?
Does she know?
Do her friends know?
Her parents?
If they know, can they tell her?
Will she hear? Will she listen?
Should she listen?
If they tell -
Do they tell the truth?
Do they lie?
What about her God?
He knows,
But does He tell? Should He tell?
If He does,
Does she hear? Does she listen?
Can she listen?
How does a young woman find herself?
Where does she go?
Does she know?
Can she go?
Should she go?
To whom does she go?
Does she know?
Can she go?
Should she go?
How does she go?
Does she know?
Should she go?
Is there a right time to go?
Does she know?
Should she go?
How, indeed, does a young woman find herself? -
Welcome, Rwanda!!!
» Home Sweet Home 
Yayyyyy!
Rwanda has finally been accepted to join the Commonwealth of Nations. I am so excited! I was excited when I heard it and I am excited that Rwanda has been allowed to join.
The CHRI (something for human rights) opposed it on human rights grounds - whatever! I have a big problem with these stupid western organizations (yes, CHRI, UNHCR, Amnesty Int'l, and a lot of all the UN groups are Western) go knocking on African countries' human rights records. It simply galls me. It galls me not because they are wrong, but because their view are selective. They see that there is rampant poverty in Ghana, and that the government does nothing to help people in C.A.R, but they never see that there is rampant poverty in the inner cities of America, and that for the most part, the government is not doing much to help a lot of the people that live in some of the poorest places in America. They go trumpeting loudly human rights abuses in and by poor countries and remain largely silent on the abuse and injustice that occur on quite a large scale in the richer countries. Hah! So I tend to pooh-pooh their findings. Their findings may be true, but they are hypocrites.
Besides, especially in Rwanda's case, they have NO right to talk, none at all. The whole world basically stood by and let almost a million people be slaughtered without doing anything. It was the RPFand the Rwandan people (the UN did not do jack, after all, UN soldiers' terms of engagement are laughable) that put an end to the genocide. So to hear them talk about 'human rights violations' is laughable. The nerve! The nerve! Idiots! Where were they in 1994? Were they that vocal? Pssssh! Hmph!
That said, Rwanda is trying to make something of itself, and since I think France ought to be ashamed of itself for how it treated Rwanda, I am glad Rwanda can make such a bold move (even if just to spite the French, lol). Rwanda has come a long way since the days of terror, and it has a ways to go yet. Even though they are hypocrites and biased and all sorts of unpalatable things, idiot organizations like CHRI have a point. The human rights abuses cannot be allowed to be continued. But I also know that it takes time. I just pray Rwanda (and Ghana, and all other African countries) will work on improving their (our) record and that the record will actually be improved as time goes by.
I am so happy! This is the best news I've heard all day! Yayyyyy! Stupid CHRI (and until they stop their biased reporting and supercilious attitude - acting as if all human rights abuses only exist in places that aren't Western countries - they will remain persona non grata in my book, and their opinions will be met with a "who cares what you think you overbearing idiots" and "MTCHEW!!!" from me at least. Oh I am so pleased Rwanda is now a member of the commonwealth! I am so happy I could dance!
Ok, back to school work!
PS: I CHRI stands for Commonwealth Human Rights Initiative......so.....yeah. But still - hypocrites. Hah! Lack of political freedom - these people are funny! How many countries already in the commonwealth have complete political freedom/ are completely democratic?! Laughable, really. So i reiterate, stupid CHRI, which just seems to comprise idiot people from some part of the commonwealth. -
Sisterhood
» Home Sweet Home 
As usual, instead of buckling down and doing my work, I found my mind wandering.... and I began to think.
I am at a place in my life where it seems like no one feels what I feel. They don't understand my joys or my sorrows. But that really isn't true. The things I feel may be unique to me, and I may feel them acutely, but they are nothing special (special to me, mebbe, but not to the rest of the world), especially not to women.
Women throughout the ages have had the same feelings, have found themselves in the situations I find myself in - pain, joy, hope, despair - none of it is new. And even now, millions of women the world over experience the same things that I experience, and struggle with the same things that I struggle. And that is a wonderful thought, init? It's all shared.
The thing that makes me, a Ghanaian woman, happy, is the exact same thing that made an Inca woman and a Xhosa woman happy two centuries ago, and it is the same thing that makes a Nigerian woman and an American woman happy even now!
And the same thing that makes me curl up in my bed and weep is the same thing that made the Greek woman and the Indian woman cry a thousand years ago, and it is the same thing that makes the Kenyan Woman and the Swiss woman cry even now.
It is a shared humanity, shared with other women from the beginning of time. We truly are not alone, we are never alone. And never has it felt so good to know I am not that special! -
God might be a Ghanaian after all
» Home Sweet Home Ok, I still have seven more Olympians to go through, but we're taking a break for now.
But yeah - sometimes I can believe God is a Ghanaian. I see Him in so many of the Ghanaians I find everywhere I turn.
I see Jesus in my mother and father - how they painstakingly care for us.
I see Him in my friends who love me just as I am
I see Him in certain doctors, who patiently and lovingly reach out healing hands and knowledge to their suffering patients
I see Him in the little girl who happily claps her hands as she sings in Sunday school
I see Him in the well-dressed man who stopped to help us push our car when it broke down and would take no payment after that
I see Him in the waakye seller who gives the madman that frequents her place some free waakye, feeding him for the day, even if just to get him away from her customers.
I see Him in the passion with which people discuss politics and football
I see Him in the concern (mixed with nosiness) with which people pry into their neighbors' lives
I see Him in the pastor who truly cares for his congregation and does not fleece them
I see Him when I see the little boy who's selling water by the roadside forget all his troubles and laugh gaily
I see Him when I see my classmates weeping at the funeral of our mate who died too young
And I see him in this most wonderful doctor I have met since I left the shores of Ghana.
I really see God in the non-judgmental but firm way in which she handles her patients.
I see Jesus in the comfortable atmosphere she provides, so that they won't feel judged
I see Him in the firm rebuke she offers, so they don't think they can just do as they please and not heed her instructions.
All this and many more in the many Ghanaians I've met at home and abroad. Yes, sometimes, I think God is a Ghanaian (He just got lost in Palestine for a while, lol).
PS: One can see Jesus in any group of people, I am just saying - sometimes...... -
My Friend Poseidon
» Home Sweet Home 
Earthshaker.
How can someone so traditional at times
Be so avant garde at others?
Sometimes he bears and supports you
Other times he is against you
And makes his displeasure tangible
Stormbringer.
When he feels an injustice had been done
Or a moral has been dispensed with
He brings to bear his full disapproval
Like a storm bearing down on a hapless sea vessel
Calm one moment,
Tumultous the next
Father of Horses.
Behind his seriousness lies
Playfulness, Creativity
Silliness, even
Sometimes ally, sometimes foe
Sometime calm, sometimes fiery
Sometimes serious, sometimes playful
Always wise, always loyal
Earthshaker. Stormbringer. Father of horses
My friend Poseidon -
Mr Friend Artemis
» Home Sweet Home 
She's the goddess of the hunt
Always, there's something she's reaching for, aspiring to
With her, there's always something to be solved,
A problem to be overcome
Her conquests are quite spectacular
Olympus' Artemis had her Nemean Lion (well, not really)
My Artemis has the problems of Africa within target
My Artemis is no maiden goddess
What maiden?
Her? "No way!" she'll tell you
Well, she yet remains a maiden
But sooner or later
She'll get her groove on
And my friend Artemis will no longer a maiden be
But she'll always be a formidable huntress,
Like the moon, she also reflects a haunting radiance,
But a radiance not her own
She reflects the radiance of the Sun of Righteounsess,
The Lord, The Creator of heaven and Earth
Now a maiden, not always to be one
Hunter extraordinaire,
Radiant moon goddess,
Protector of the wild,
Fierce Lover,
My friend Artemis -
My Friend Hephaestus
» Home Sweet Home div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://images-3.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/944347-2-hephaestus-fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"img border="0" height="134" src="http://images-3.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/944347-2-hephaestus-fire.jpg" width="200" //abr //divbr /Olympus's was lame and misshapen of body, but not mine.br /My Hephaestus,he's misshapen alright, but of spirit - br /In a world where we are perpetually rushed, guarded, and self-seeking, hot-tempered,br /my Hephaestus is caring, patient, unhurried, level-headed. br /br /Like the blacksmith god, he's lame too,br /albeit his is a character flaw, not a bodily one,but it's just as painful to behold.br /div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"br //divHe's not an Ironsmith like the Olympianbr /But the delight he takes in his craft is just as evident:br /And what beautiful and intricate fruits result from this labor!br /They are things of great beauty, and durable, too.br /Also, his character is like his works - beautiful, dependable, forged by firebr /br /His person, his works - they speak for themselvesbr /Even with all his flaws,br /My friend Hephaestus, like his works, is a thing of great beauty to behold.br /One word that sums up this my friend:br /Precious!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-800070247838598881?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div -
My Friend Athena
» Home Sweet Home 
Looking at her, it is no wonder people say she sprang full-grown from the head of her father Zeus.
That must be it, for there is no other explanation for how a one so young should be so full of wisdom!
The word you'd use to describe apart from 'wise' would be 'gentle'
Yet her gentle manner belies the steeliness of her convictions.
She doesn't rush, she won't debate;
She'll disarm you with a smile, and conquer you with her sagacity
You wouldn't call her exuberant (she is gentle after all)
But, my friend Athena, her joie de vivre is evident wherever she goes
It just bubbles, simmers, churns, and overflows from her person.
They say "By wise counsel wage war"
You wouldn't want my friend Athena as your enemy.
She won't ever make haste to defeat you,
But - mark it - defeat you she will.
Add her wisdom and her gentle, unassuming manner to that winning smile of hers -
my friend Athena is one heck of a lady! -
The Twelve Olympians
» Home Sweet Home I adore the Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series (yeah, yeah, I know - juvenile, but I love Greek mythology, so sue me)...and I am inspired! I'm going to create profiles from 12 people I know, each one for an Olympian! Que exciting! -
Sin.....
» Home Sweet Home In my recent devotions, the subject of sin has come up a lot lately. And funnily enough, I am reading about 'both sides' of the issue (which is really one side in the end). One moment I am reading about how holy God is, and how He can't stand sin, and how He will judge and punish sin; the very next moment, I am reading about how loving God is, and how He will cleanse and forgive any sin if we come to Him asking for forgiveness - about how when we come in our sin, He won't judge, or rebuke, or anything, he'll just cleanse us anew and will give us the Holy Spirit to help us overcome sin.
Of course, it set me thinking (which, lately, is becoming an excuse for procrastination) about how I react to sin. Of course, when it's a sin that affects me too, I am quick to remember the mercy of God and how He'll forgive us so long as we just ask. When it is a sin that doesn't affect me, I am MUCH slower to remember that God forgives (I am more quick to remember that God judges sin). Hah!!
And sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously, no (at least I do...)? All the beating ourselves up about our sins, especially the ones that are persistent. How we beat ourselves up, and how we beat others up too!! But the Bible says that God remembers that we are dust. I am trying to remember that more these days. If nothing, it helps me cut other people some slack.
But yeah!! Knowing that even though God hates sin, He will always forgive me when I come to Him is very liberating - I can come into His presence anytime, just as I am, not just when I am ok with Him. It's quite dizzying, actually, now that I've stopped to think about it, and it's one more of the many mercies of God to be thankful for! -
Memories, Memories
» Home Sweet Home I love literature, and fancy that I can write well. That is, I can write fiction or anything prosaic satisfactorily. At least I thought so until I encountered people whose writing is absolutely magical.
However, one thing I can't write well is poetry. I am bad at it. Just the other day I was reminiscing about my creative writing class in high school and all the poetry we were made to write. Then my IB SL French class came along, and we were required to write haiku. I really liked one of the haiku I wrote for that class, and i remember it vividly even today.
Les fleurs se grandissent
Et les animeaux sont nes
Tous dans le printemps
loose tr: The flowers come out
And the animals are born
All in the springtime
It sounds way more beautiful in French, doesn't it? Then again, French has that effect on a lot of things.
Now isn't that lovely? -
If the heat's too much.....
» Home Sweet Home Get out of the kitchen. The Liberian Rape episode in the US and a bollywood movie I was watching yesterday just set me thinking, and as usual, I became sad and angry. The movie was about a girl(Chand) who got married and shipped off to join her husband in Canada. Well, her husband lived with his brother and his wife, AND his mother and father. The family was struggling to get the other siblings from India into America. Rocky (Chand's husband)was abusive to her. The catch though is that many a time, the abuse was precipitated by Rocky's mother, although even without his mother's influence, Rocky was still plenty abusive. She would provoke Chand, and when Chand would react, would get Rocky to hit Chand (In fact, Chand and Rocky didn't have a wedding night because the mother broke interrupted). The entire family sat back and watched the abuse and said nothing (except the father, but he was old and feeble....). Chand worked with her sister-in-law at some sweatshop/factory. A jamaican woman noticed Chand's bruises and inquired after them. Chand's sister-in-law told the woman Chand had walked into a door. When the woman suggested calling 911, the sis-in-law said "we take care of our own problems [in our community]"
Do we, really? Now I know that in our society (here I'm talking about Ghana) there are provisions for abuse, or at least there are supposed to be. I remember learning that just as you get elders to agree to a marriage, if the guy was abusing you, you tell your family, a gathering of elders from both families are set up, the grievance aired, and the guy given a warning. If the abuse persists, another meeting is set up, and the customary stuff is returned, and the marriage is null and void. That was how I learned that our society protects women from abuse in marriage. But how often does that happen? How many women get helped that way? Do we even care enough to get the elders and stuff all gathered up? Will the woman's grievances get a fair hearing? After all, I've heard of so many women who are abused who are told "fa ma Nyame (leave it to God)," "that is the lot you get in life, so bear with it," or "be patient, he will change".... Why can't we leave it to God and still get the woman to safety? Why can't she be patient while waiting for him to change far away from him, so he does not continue the abuse?
I also refuse to believe men think abuse is well deserved or even okay, no matter how patriarchal the society was in which they were raised. Unless you are a sociopath, or a deviant, you cannot tell me that kicking a woman as she is rolled up in a ball on the floor, or slapping her, or hitting her in any way shape or form is justified, for any reason. You cannot tell me that they don't know deep down that it's wrong. And it's simply cowardice to hit someone weaker than you, no matter how much they provoke you. How much more if you hit someone just because you can! Oh, they know alright, no matter how deep down, they do. It's just that they can get away with it, so they do it.
In the movie, Rocky's mother..... she's one of those people who can't let her sons love anyone else, so she incites her son to abuse. She pressures him to get married, and then is afraid her son will be 'taken away from her' (whatever that means), so she abuses her daughter-in-law. How? And of course Indian society protects her (just as Ghanaian society would), because she is an adult, and of course adults are NEVER wrong, and you can't just reprimand an adult or disobey them. You don't wan't to be disrespectful. Why? There is no way I can respect a woman who abuses her daughter-in-law, who tells her son to hit his wife, who interrupts her son's wedding night because she's insecure. That's not adult behavior - it's juvenile, sophomoric (cool word, hehe). WHY does our society protect people like this? Again, you can't tell me it's all she knows - deep down, she also KNOWS that is wrong. Mebbe when she was a young wife her mother-in-law treated her like that also. THAT is all the more reason why she should treat her daughter-in-law like a human being! Because we're hurt doesn't excuse our hurting someone else.
Rocky abuses his wife partly because his mother wants him to (and partly because he's an abuser) - not to do so would be to disrespect his mother's wishes. He can't tell her off, because a child cannot gainsay (other fun word) a parent. Why? Parents are not God, and even God was questioned by people, and the Israelites usually disobeyed him. So who are parents? How I wished Rocky would be a man and tell her off. I was so proud of Chand when she pushed her mother-in-law to the ground when the woman was being mean and all up in her face (although Chand did not mean to push her mother-in-law. She was only trying to stop the woman spitting in her face or hitting her. I would have pushed her deliberately, the hothead that i am).
Chand had nowhere to go. She was all alone in Canada, her husband had her pay directly sent to his account, and they would not let her call her family in India. She can't call 911. No one is willing to advocate for her. We take care of our own problems. We don't need the police. Really? Do we really take care of our problems? Can we? Are we willing to take care of them? I have not finished watching the movie, but I surely will. She had noone to help her.
Anyway, so now I am all sad and bothered. When will we stop beign pushed around by adults that behave like children? When will men be men and realise that being abusive is a sign of weakness and not strength? And when at all will women stand up for themselves? Will we even be allowed to stand up for ourselves? God help us all. -
Is This Africa?
» Home Sweet Home It is all well and good to carp on and on about the negative image Africa has in the Western media, but truly, truly - is it really any different from the image we Africans hold of ourselves in our deepest darkest hearts? We seem to have assimilated it into our consciousness, that nothing African (well, at least not many things) is really worthwhile.
Why else would people get offended (when I was growing up) that I didn't have an English name? Many people would insist that my name was my 'house name', and that I was supposed to have an English name (although, that trend is changing, I am glad to say). Even I myself was chagrined I didn't have an English name. I even went through a phase where I chose an English name for myself because I wanted one so badly. Luckily, it didn't work (although...there is nothing wrong with having an English name - i just didn't understand why people got so offended at the lack thereof).
Almost always we speak disparagingly of our own, and when we compare what we have with what developed nations have, we invariably fall short. Why won't we, when we use the wrong criteria? We always complain of our doctors, comparing them to Western ones - oh how exalted they are in our eyes. For the life of me I can't see why. We are hasty to draw comparisons, quick to forget that we are talking with skewed perceptions and standards.
We make haste to talk about our poverty (which must be talked about), but we always forget to mention our OWN who are working to eradicate it - but how quick we are to acknowledge some foreign NGO or person who works to eradicate poverty! We are quick to get our education and leave for greener pastures, because our own pastures are not green enough....
Anyway, the reason for this disjointed ramblings is because i remembered something my aunt told me. My aunt and her family live in Kaneshie, in a neighborhood that is...okay. The houses are in nice orderly rows, not too far away from a group of haphazard shacks; the roads are not paved. The point I am trying to get across is that it is not a ritzy place, but not too shabby either. One day her husband (my uncle, of course, lol) was driving with Sena, then four years old, in the backseat. They were driving in Chorkor or Jamestown, that area of town (a shantytown). Sena takes one look outside and turns to my uncle and says "Daddy, is this Africa?"
What do you say to something like that? Sena, only 4 years old, has already started learning it. Africa only has to do with places like Chorkor and Bukom, and not places like her Kaneshie house. It is only about illiterate people and not people whose parents gave their all to give them an education so they may have a better life. It is only about the village without electricity, and not the village with community where everyone one helps each other. It is about children dying of malaria and not doctors working to save them. It is about doctors who go on strike but not doctors who work under trying circumstances and for little to no remuneration. She learned it not only from the Western media, but from all of us.
She learned it when she went to church and realized that they were gradually phasing out all the local songs in favor of English songs, all in the name of 'internationalism' (as if languages aren't a part of internationalism, or as if you can only glorify God if you can sing in English). She learns it when she hears of the Rwandan genocide, but not of the Rwandan Patriotic Front; when she hears of Somalia and not Botswana; when she reads about Mobutu but not Paul Kagame.
I have always said it and i will always say it: the bad things about Africa abound, and we need to identify them and harp on about them until we and our leaders fix them. But good things also abound in this land of ours, and we need to remember them, to give us hope, to renew our faith in this land we fight for.
Ngugi wa Thiongo says that "the story which we have to tell cannot be told for us by others, no matter how well-intentioned..." Well, our story has been told -for us and by us. So far, all the verses sound like dirges. But we have many many songs of rejoicing too. Let them be told, so our children can see, so that they'll understand that Chorkor and North Kaneshie are both Africa! -
Blaming the Victim
» Home Sweet Home There's a brouhaha (I love, lOVE this word, btw) about to begin in the US. A couple of days ago, I read that a policeman heard some screams, followed the sound, and saw c four boys running away from the directions of the screams. Well, what they were running away from is the place where they had just gang-raped an eight year old girl (she was the one screaming. And these boys were young, between 9 and 14 years! Where do they learn such horrible stuff - or think it okay to do? Well, anyway, it turns out this is a Liberian neighborhood in Arizona. The girl is taken to the police station, to get evidence from her body and stuff, so they can press charges and put these boys in juve or sentence them to psychiatric visits to get them help (I don't care what anyone says about the criminal justice system - if you can start raping people at 9 YEARS of age, then you can stay in jail or handle what the system throws at you - how!). And of course, feelings are running high.
Guess what? The sister of the raped girl, speaking for the family, had the unimaginable GALL to say this - I told her that we don't like what she's doing, she shouldn't be pressing charges, we are all the same people, we are from the same place, this news will get back to Liberia and shame us..." ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you kidding?!?! So when at all will we learn that RAPE is NOT a crime on the victim's part - that NOTHING justifies rape? The news SHOULD get to Liberia and you know who should be ashamed - those shameless boys!! They should be ashamed of themselves, learning to rape at such a young age........
So when at all do we learn to stop blaming the victims? But thank goodness social services have taken the girl away from her family. Now they can live their lives without shame - they should be stuck in jail for child abandonment just for their nasty behavior! -
Hmph!
» Home Sweet Home This post is simply in retaliation to a 'friend' who shall remain nameless because she said she did not read this blog often because I don't update it every day. Can you imagine!
You know who you are, hmph! The reason I don't update often, is bcos I am listening to you! This is all i have to say to you:
Nanaiama!
Dambrede Scosco!
Babki KABANKA!
Legless one!
Hmph! :) -
Young Woman
» Home Sweet Home How does a young woman keep her way pure?
How does a young woman come into her own?
How does a young Christian woman walk with her God,
Now that she is no longer a child?
Do things change?
Do they remain the same?
Is she still a child in His eyes? An adult?
How does a young woman find her identity?
Am I enough, as I am?
Am I not?
Am I ever going to be enough?
What at all is enough?
How does a young woman find her way?
How indeed, does a young woman keep her way pure?
Been pondering these questions for awhile now...... -
Pregnant Girls and High School
» Home Sweet Home I just read this article on myjoynline.com which stated that 8 girls from the Brong Ahafo region who were supposed to be sitting for their BECE exams are pregnant.
My first thought is "and so what?"
To be sure, teenage pregnancy is an issue which must be addressed, and has its own complications, and as a country we need to educate people about protective and preventative methods (abstinence, condom use, whatever), so that young girls don't become pregnant.
BUT what has being pregnant got to do with intellectual competence? What does being pregnant have to do with the BECE? Does passing the BECE depend on whether or not there is a child in one's uterus? Why should being pregnant be linked to the BECE at all? -
In and Out of Time
» Home Sweet Home Still on the subject of (love) poetry, here's one I came across, written by Maya Angelou - que hermosa!
In and Out of Time
The sun has come
The mist has gone
We see in the distance
Our long way home
I was always yours to have
You were always mine
We have loved each other
In and out of time
When the first stone looked
Up at the blazing sun
And the first tree struggled
Up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more
You freed your braids
Gave your hair to the breeze
It hummed like a hive of honey bees
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....
God...how I love your hair
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance
Lost, injured, hurt by chance
I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....
Trying to change our nightmares to dreams...
The sun has come.
The mist has gone
We see in the distance
Our long way home
I was always yours to have
You were always mine
We have loved each other
in and out
in and out
in and out of time. -
How Do I Love Thee?
» Home Sweet Home I think it's (sonnet?) 43, written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning for her husband Robert Browning (was he her boyfriend then?) And it is one of my most favorite poems ever. Sometimes I feel like that about my home (Ghana), and sometimes i feel like that about a few people. Enjoy.br /br /How do I love thee?br /Let me count the ways.br /I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightbr /My soul can reach, when feeling out of sightbr /For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.br /I love thee to the level of everyday'sbr /Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.br /I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;br /I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.br /I love thee with a passion put to usebr /In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.br /I love thee with a love I seemed to loseWith my lost saints,br /--- I love thee with the breath,Smiles, tears, of all my life!br /--- and, if God choose,I shall but love thee better after death.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-7159252042620460810?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div -
(Rant) Why hate on Ghana's healthcare system?
» Home Sweet Home span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"I mean, this is not new. Since I was born, we have been complaining about the healthcare system. I did it when i was in Ghana, and now that i am in school in the US, I get to sit in class and read books that tell me how horrible 'third-world' health systems are (oh, yeah, and i get to hear about how my country is a third world country, which is true). /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"But this summer, I got a grant from HC, and went off to hang out with my friends at Korle-bu who were medical student, i got to go to the labor ward at La General Hospital, and I got to hang out in the pediatric ward of 37 military, and i have to say how impressed I was. We always talk about what we don't have - all the machines and all the equipment, and all of that stuff. What about what we do have - excellent doctors and nurses and midwives? This summer, watching how /spanspan style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"effortlessly /spanspan style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Dr. Boadi and his team performed their C-sections was like....all i know is that i can trust them 100% to gimme a C-section as and when I need one (and no, I don't trust yankee doctors). All throughout my summer internships, I saw healthcare professionals who made do with what they had (and didn't have), and were pretty darned excellent at their job. /spanbr /br /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Oh by the way, screw the harping on and on about how expensive healthcare is. It is DIRT cheap by ANY standard you employ. I paid about 1GHC to get one of my immunization shots before i left for college. And i paid less than GHC10 (i think) to get my blood analysed. Where else is that possible? The US, for all its innovations and whatever, can't get me a better deal. /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"We are so quick to condemn our doctors and nurses, and compare them to Western countries, but doesn't anyone notice that they deal with other issues? Put all those Western doctors in Korle-bu, and lets see if they will fare any better!/spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Our doctors and nurses, are either mean or haughty, which is true (for quite a number of them). But who says in the rest of the world (read: western world), doctors are not haughty and don't talk down to patients or refuse to listen to them? And if any of those doctors and nurses in those other places are as overworked and understaffed as ours are, you think they won't be grumpy and mean too? Pls!/spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"br /Our healthcare systems= is bad, true, but the evils of our healthcare system have been talked about enough, and someone ought to speak about the good, show our appreciation to the people who work so hard and are so adept at taking care of our sick. I for one am in awe of our doctors and nurses. Who wants Dr. Ben Carson when you can have Prof. Lassey, and Dr. Ladzekpo, and Dr. Boadi - def. not me. /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"I am glad i went home this past summer. Now, more than ever, I don't want to go to Jefferson, or JHU, Mayo med sch. I want to go to UGMS, I am that impressed with the caliber of the doctors and teachers there. And now when anyone asks which doctors i want to be like, I don't go off rattling Christiaan Barnard or Paul Farmer or any of those people anymore. I am now armed with a whole repertoire (is that the correct word in this context?) of Ghanaian doctors who i want to be like someday. Heck, this summer at Korle-Bu I met a doctor with my name (UGMS class of 2007). Foreshadowing, anyone? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Ok - I need to go off and do my work now...../spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-1176786132841128709?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div -
Lol
» Home Sweet Home span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" My very first blog post. So I finally join the world of blogging. /spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-2836460179721274620?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
