GhanaBlogging.com » Home Sweet Home

« Expand/Collapse

Home Sweet Home (29 unread)

March 08, 2010
19:10
A Serious Question - well, 6 of them
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Happy belated independence day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're 53 years!!!!!!br /br /Ok - moving on to the question: br /br /So I was reading a blog instead of doing my work (as usual) and this time, the post was on the subject of relationships and how men think blah blah blah. Anyway, one poster made an interesting comment. br /br /She said people (read: women) had to stop being so rigid in their ways and realize that reality is different from our ideals. she gave the example: if you have a boyfriend and you guys plan on getting married in say...2 years, but you don't want to be sexually active before you get married 9or for whatever reason), it's all well and good. BUT it's unrealistic to expect him to remain celibate for 2 years. br /br /This poster suggests that due to the unrealisticness of expecting your man to remain celibate if you are also going to be celibate, you allow him, er, sow his wild oats, so to speak, with a few rules:br /1. complete disclosure, aka tell me when sleep with other people,each time (before or after the fact?) br /2. discretion: sleep with other people, but do it on the down low.br /3. make sure he gets all the strikecheating/strike sowing of wild oats out of his system before u settle down. br /4. Oh yes - pray about it (it is beyond me why the poster thinks prayer is going to be helping. If I were God...let me not even go there)br /br /br /So...my question 1 is this: is it just me or is this poster smoking some serious pot?If for whatever reason one partner in any relationship is not feeling comfortable having sex, why not either both abstain or break up?redb*/bred And WHY, but WHY?! is it okay under any circumstances to give your man the go-ahead to cheat? Hell-o? Once he's gotten the go-ahead during the relationship days, what's to say he won't want to sow more oats during marriage? So if we get married and for whatever reason I have a low libido, is it okay for him to go have affairs? WHY? Let's expand it a bit further: let's say we're in a sexual relationship, but I'm uncomfortable with something he wants to do - say.....oral sex. Is it okay for him to go get it from other people? br /br /Here's another question: what the hell does 'full disclosure' mean? Does any girl seriously think any guy would be telling her if he contracted gonorrhea from someone else? What about chlamydia - that is usually symptomless, so he won't know he has it if he catches it. And then what if he gives it to her at a later date? Would any guy tell you he slept with your best friend? Full disclosure my foot! in this day and age of STDs! Obviously the memo on STDs has been lost in circulation.br /br /How about a third question: why do we (read: African women) act as if it is a given for a man to cheat? Men are not babies with no self-control, nor are they animals, driven only by instinct/desire. They are men!And even so - we train our animals and our babies, so why not the men? The only reason men act like such babies with no self control so often is because of idiot reasoning like this poster's - we let them off! what the heck?! yes, it is difficult to control sexual impulses: difficult, but NOT impossible. No wonder the men are so happy these days - they can do whatever they want and say "ah but I am a man! It's how we do!" and it's ok. Ahh!!! At the root of it, this is not an abstinence/no abstinence or archaic/contemporary or realistic/unrealistic issue. This is an issue about self-control. It is thinking like this that lets men think they can cheat, that makes it okay for men to cheat. It is thinking like this that lets men contract STDs and pass it on to their wives. It is thinking like this that makes it okay for men to cheat but not women. It is thinking like this that reinforces negative ideals about women and wives being frigid, because obviously, there is something wrong with a woman who won't have sex with her man, but then tells him to go have sex elsewhere.....br /br /Question 4: What about the women? Does it ever occur to us that women who choose abstinence ALSO would very much like to have sex, just not before they're married (or whatever?) The women keep their libidos in check, don't they? I just don't get it. What about if we are in a sexual relationship and his drive is significantly higher than mine - should I allow him to -er , shall we say - let off steam, with other people on the DL to give me some reprieve? Why is it acceptable for a modern, liberated woman to think this way?br /br /br /My final question is: Will it be okay for women to do this too? But of course, I forget - any woman who has a higher sex drive than her man or wants to have sex while her man wants to be abstinent is usually labeled a nymphomaniac...so that's that. To be sure, that poster said that if you allow your dude to sow his wild oats, maybe get him also to let you date other guys will he sorts himself and his libido out. But just DATE, not sleep with other men (bcos of course, u want to be abstinent, that's why your guy's out cheating in the first place).br /br /FINAL final question: why is it okay to think like this? Especially as a 'contemporary woman?ARE U KIDDING ME? Methinks this poster needs to get together with that gay porn pastor from Uganda for some prayers. Or am I being unrealistic? I seriously want to know - u know, just in case i should ever be faced with this situation or a friend, whatever.br /br /*The reason I say that they should both abstain or breakup, instead of saying that the girl should just sleep with the guy is because sex is supposed to be a consensual activity. Any sex that does not involve 100% agreement between the parties is coercion, which is not too far from rape.br /br /PS: And since I am amazed at my penmanship (LOL, ignore me, I've had too much pepsi to drink), lemme just add:br /bTelling a man to cheat, but do it discretely and let me know when you do it is/b/red/redbr /redredb 1. selling myself short as a woman. If I am giving him my best, I deserve the best, including a faithful manbr /2. fraught with dangers like STDsbr /3. denying my man the opportunity to be a man, to assert himself over his sexual urges. br /4. telling my man i see him as a child, or an unbridled animal. No one wants an animal or a child for a mate. we want a man! a man: a strong, assertive, caring, loving MAN. No one who cheats is any of these.nbsp;/b/red/redbr /redredbAnd no man wants a woman who doesn't see him as a man: a strong, assertive, caring, loving man.nbsp;/b/red/redbr /br /redredbPPS: How's God going to be answering prayers for a faithul man if you're encouraging him to go and be unfaithful? /bbr //red/reddiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-5910054362978587765?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
February 22, 2010
5:02
When will this foolishness end?
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

So here I was looking through BBC instead of doing my homework (that just feels weird to say), and I come across this article in BBC. A Ugandan pastor (one of those who supports the death penalty for homosexuals) showed GAY PORNOGRAPHY IN CHURCH as a way of showing that gay people are depraved beyond measure and ought to be put to death. br /br /There were many questions running through my mind.br /First of all - why is this a legit way to show anything? If i gather a bunch of people and show black people porn (which, from what i hear, is disguising itself as Ghanaian movies nowadays) does that prove that black people are unfit to live and should be killed off? br /Secondly - are these people aware that we don't live in theocracies anymore? In ancient Israel, they put to death gay people - that was because Israel was a theocracy. They do that in Saudi Arabia (Do they?) and Iran (???) because those are theocracies (well at least, it is against the law). Uganda is a DEMOCRACY! my goodness - what part of that don't people understand? Oh and btw, in ancient Israel, they also put to death adulterers, fornicators, i think, even drunkards and disobedient people. So if they want to kill off people - i think they should try for those first - starting with all of those people in the church!br /br /Thirdly - whatever happened to Paul's admonition to 'live in peace with all men?' I understand disagreeing with homosexuality (note: the ACTION, not the person) on religious grounds, but why would anyone want to kill people for voluntary actions? We don't kill rapists or thieves! Now here are two people involved in consensual victimless actions and we want to kill them?br /br /Then it hit me: Where on earth will a PASTOR know how to ACCESS pornography? Let alone GAY PORN? Now, I don't know about you, but that makes me mighty suspicious. Any pastor who can produce porn gets a side-eye from me. br /br /And what church is stupid enough to think showing porn to the public in anyway shape or form is ok? Obviously the leadership of the church and its congregation have issues.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-1902829777057789882?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
February 03, 2010
2:19
The Thing With Feathers
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Emily Dickinson was right, and so was King Solomon.br /Hope matters, it really does. br /It gives you the courage to veer off the beaten pathbr /And pursue your dreams instead - do what mattersbr /Hope is..... it's simply..... INVIGORATINGbr /It breathes new life into thingsbr /It puts a spring in your step, br /A twinkle in your eye, br /Joy in your soul. br /It makes you dream of a better futurebr /It makes you want to try, try, try againbr /It's the Thing With Feathersbr /That perches in the soulbr /br /-- Last week, I saw hope transform a friend from a wonderful person who was planning to do the dutiful thing to a wonderful person who was planning to follow her passion - all in the space of like, 2 seconds! It was fantastic to watch...... so just so you know: keep hope alive! I'm off to see if I can scramble up some hope for myself!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-5974970954185789355?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
January 31, 2010
6:32
An Old Type of Foolishness
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Hai...........br /br /so this trend of me feeling sorry for myself hasn't abated (the last post was deleted because I realized certain people whom I adore might be hurt by it, so....yeah). However, instead of self-pity and feeling-bad-at-pitying-myself-when-I-should-be-more-grateful, this time I am full of righteous indignation. br /br /For the past school year, I have been telling anyone who would bother to listen what an awesome junior year spring semester I was going to have because I would be away, studying in Botswana! I would be studying Biology and learning to speak Setswana and living in Southern Africa! In Africa, I haven't traveled outside of West Africa before, so I was excited- no exhilarated, in seventh heaven. br /br /Then comes time to apply. Ei! Nakai w0 y00!!! Is that how we are?br /I got approved for the program about a month before it was due to start - a little late. Oh well. I applied for the Botswana visa - since Ghanaians need a visa. Get this - those people wanted to keep my passport for SIX weeks, before they would gimme a visa. SIX weeks! Where does that happen? SIX weeks! Even after calling (and having every authority I could get - from Haverford to The University of Botswana) call and see if they could talk to these people - they still wouldn't budge! And to think this is in the USA! So if I was applying from Ghana, what would they have done - kept my passport for a year before deciding!br /br /Then came the insult to injury: Americans and Europeans (virtually all of Europe) can enter Botswana without a visa. Me, who shares the same continent, the same piece of land with them, they want to hijack my passport for six weeks. br /br /I don't care what anyone says, it's a travesty. And now, Bots is one of the countries on my blacklist - anything good I had to say about it.....no more. It's gone from being 'that wonderful country' to being 'that useless desert country of 5 million who think they are better than us because of a few diamonds - hah!' Do they even reach five million people? All I know is I can subtract every Botswanan around from the population of Ghana and still have at least 15 million people left. Ah!br /br /It's ridiculous! 6 WEEKS! Are you kidding? Why? Is that country that gateway to heaven? Lord knows even more developed countries don't ask to be keeping passports for 6 weeks! MTCHEW! Ai - and they are even part of the African Union to top it off! Foolishness!br /br /I share the same piece of land with them, oh- and an 'African' Union, but they plan to make it difficult for me to enter their land while some person across the oceans can up and go there anytime they want. Why? br /br /Oh well. I am done with Botswana. Never again. Because this type of foolishness is enough. I am sticking to Nigeria and Togo and Senegal and Burkina from now on! (And any other country that won't try to steal my national identification for over a MONTH!) I mean - heck - I can even go to Jamaica without a visa - JAMAICA! Across the damn ocean! And then these people - hai....it makes me sad to say I share the same piece of land with them.br /br /Hmph! No more! This type of foolishness has no excuse! We are supposed to be a union, for crying out loud! And yet foreigners can move through this union better than I, a homegirl can. br /The effontery! The cheek! The unmitigated GALL! Kwasiasem!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-4779088943938982987?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
January 20, 2010
19:21
What would you rather : the journey or the destination?
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

I figure I am young and foolish, so it's the perfect time to be prideful and self-absorbed. After all, young people often are such, and so we are excused when we display traits like these- but excessive pride and self-centeredness would not be so excusable once I am an adult....so yeah! I am allowed!! Beware: this post is one long self-absorbed ramble....forewarned is forearmed.br /br /Here's the thing: I remember many instances from my childhood very easily (I remember wrongdoings as easily, so don't mess with me, haha) and I remember how I used to change what I would be in future every week. But by class six, it was set: I wanted to be a doctor, and of course, everyone encouraged me. A couple of friends also wanted to be doctors and we would sit and talk about what we wanted to specialize in, and our plans for the future (ie, go to Gey Hey or St. Roses or Holy Child, and then apply to UG med school - no KNUST for us, hehe).....simple. And it was going to be fun, because what is more fun than going to school with your childhood friends?br /br /But alas, the best laid plans of mice and men.... br /I left in JSS 1 to go to Lincoln, and from LCS, I left for college in the States. I am studying Biology now, but I am also doing so much more, and I even want to go to public health school now. br /br /I have changed so much from my class six days - I am much more open-minded now (You just can't imagine how close-minded I used to be - and i still have a ways to go yet), and a more well-rounded person. I still prefer to hang out with people I have similarities with (aka - black and/or African) but I can hold my own with people who are different from me, and I can even enjoy their company; I still hold my beliefs close, but I can make allowances for other people's beliefs too, and I know that it is okay if people disagree with my beliefs (it doesn't make them bad people just misguided, hehe just kidding)....br /I have made amazing friends I would never have met if I hadn't gone to LCS or Haverford. br /br /I am not a doctor yet, and won't even be entering med school for a while, but I am just a much better person for all my experiences these past ten years. br /br /BUT here I am sitting in my dorm, wondering if life is passing my by. The friends I made my plans with did go on to Wesley Girls, St. Roses, and Holy Child, and are today in UG med school. They will begin their first clinical year next year, my senior year of undergrad; two years after that, they will be doctors, and i will probably just be getting in an application to first year of medical school. br /br /They followed the plans; I didn't. They are almost at the end of the road to that MbCHB degree; I haven't even started yet. It feels like life is passing me by. br /br /In my heart I know that it is not a race to the finish line, that it doesn't matter that they become doctors before I do, but I can't help thinking that life is passing me by. br /br /And I know, I know that the journey matters more than the destination - heck, I have already given some examples as to why this roundabout route has made me a better person already....but I still can't help it. I think life is passing me by. br /br /I know it's not true (and it's also funny how I never thought life was passing my friends by when all the good stuff was happening to me) but I still can't help it. br /br /I don't know how to stop it - this selfish feeling....br /I just wish I could be more thankful. I am very happy for my friends, but I shouldn't be feeling so sad, especially since my life has been so enriched by this detour. br /br /So many people I owe thanks to - God, my family, friends that have become family, teachers who took special interest in me - so many people have been involved in this detour that is my life, involved in making me a better person, that it is just not right not to be grateful. It's not right not to think I am living an awesome life. I am, I truly am - I couldn't have come up with this life I have now in a million years - and yet here I am thinking that life is passing me by. br /Ay, Lord have mercy on me. br /br /Hopefully, it's just a phase and I can get back to enjoying the journey soon!br /br /Ok - that's the end. I'll try to be less self-absorbed after this (I still retain the right to some selfishness - like I said, I am young and foolish!)br / br /The journey is important, and so is the destination....but which one is more important? Journey? Destination? I mean, you plan with the end in mind (otherwise it's just silliness)......so which should be the main focus? The journey? The destination? Oh, I am confused!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-4018653293227386429?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
January 08, 2010
18:47
The Money-Grabbers
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Hmmm!br /br /So as usual, let me have my two pesewas. I read on myjoyonline that Former President Kufuor refused a severance pay of slightly less than $90,000. Now I don't know whether this was supposed to be a one time payment (in which case he was probably - emphasis on probably- right to refuse it), or whether there'll be subsequent payments, but this I know: have our politicians no shame?br /br /I mean, here you have a country where at least 70% of us live on less than $2 a day, the other 25 are barely managing to make it from hand to mouth ( and then there's the elite, but they don't count here, lol) and we are giving 5-figure dollar amounts as severance pay for public officials (and yes, the president is a public official, and a servant of the people). Doesn't make any sense to me at all. br /br /And then the justification they give (a la some Ghanaian MPs and Mo Ibrahim) is that we don't want these 'leaders' to be traumatized, their being used to so much authority as president, so we give them this much money to make them not hold on to power. Really? Really? Re-al-ly?! Being the extremist that I am, I say shoot them by firing squad if they refuse to step down after their terms have ended. br /br /But seriously, doesn't it seem a little excessive (and no, don't compare it with the US president's end of service benefits, because the US, unlike us, doesn't depend on AID organizations to provide money for its national budget. And 70% of people in the US don't live below the poverty line). GHC 90,000 (a little less than $90,000). Why so much? br /br /Ok. Forget about that. If they can afford to pay former presidents $90,000 give or take, don't you think they can afford to make our roads safer? At least give our hospitals some modern equipment? Pay doctors and teachers and civil servants slightly better? Create national campaigns on awareness of HIV/AIDS and mental illness? Pay the police a little better?br /br /Jus' wonderingdiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-2928680709740433785?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
December 31, 2009
18:15
Christmas and New Years.....
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Happy New Year!!!!br /Although, you know, at Christmas I always wonder.....br /here's the thing: br /br /Mary was a virgin when she was giving birth to the Lord Jesus. br /I am guessing since Israel was no longer a nomad group then, Mary wasn't doing a lot of riding horses or anything too strenuous....you know, the sort of vigorous activity that breaks hymens. Does that mean that she still had a hymen as she was giving birth to the savior....br /br /Didn't that hurt, having a baby break your hymen? On top of all the pain of childbirth without an epidural? Or was giving birth already so painful that a little extra pain from a hymen didn't hurt?br /br /That is one question I really want to ask God and Mary herself when we get to heaven...br /br /PS: I finally saw District 9 on Christmas Day!!! Interesting movie, to say the least. Happy New Year!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-8219374189330731396?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
December 02, 2009
19:35
This whole natural hair debate thing
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" [http-equiv="Content-Type"] content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"/metameta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"/metameta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"/metalink href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRESLIF%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"/linklink href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRESLIF%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"/linklink href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CRESLIF%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"/linkstyle !-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {mso-style-priority:99; color:blue; mso-themecolor:hyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; color:purple; mso-themecolor:followedhyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} p {mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-margin-top-alt:auto; margin-right:0in; mso-margin-bottom-alt:auto; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -- /style br /div style="color: #b45f06;"(haha, finally, a post that has something to do with Ghana...well, sorta, kinda).br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"It is only in the past few months that I have realized that there is a 'natural hair' war raging among black people, esp. in the USA (from what I can tell).nbsp; The premise goes something like this: Natural curly kinky hair is what comes out our heads, and God made it that way, and so it must be good. If you are black and are using harmful chemicals to relax it and straighten it means that you aren't comfortable with your hair, and/or you have some latent self-hatred adn/or you have an unconscious desire to be like white people......br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"Just thinking about it, I tend to agree with people like Boakyewaa Glover and the girl who wrote a scathing critique of Chris Rock's "Good Hair" - that really and truly, I am not my hair. My hair may be an extension of who I am, but it is not my identity. It is not even that important a part of that identity. I remain myself whether I dye it blond, wear it natural, wear it relaxed, flat-ironed...whatever. Hair is hair. It is dead (Only hair roots are alive, being embedded in the dermis and all, but hair is fundamentally dead). I can't even liken relaxing hair to making another change…say….bleaching the skin. Hair can be changed. It will grow back. When I bleach my skin, it does show discomfort with who I am because bleaching the skin is usually an irreversible process. It is done on living elements of our body and does cause cancers and stuff like that. Even so, discomfort with oneself doesn’t signify self-hatred (I have ALWAYS wanted to be tall, and dislike being short. I fervently wish my nose was snub like some of my Ghanaian friends, instead of just spread all over the place. That doesn’t mean I hate myself. Even if I had rhinoplasty to make that nose snub wouldn’t still mean I hate my self – it just means I am uncomfortable with myself).Back to the subject, I don't know if relaxers cause cancers, but I know for sure hair straighteners don't.nbsp; Hair is just hair. It isn't living. It will grow back. And whatever a person chooses to do with doesn't mean they are self-hating.br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"br //divspan style="color: #b45f06;"What got me started on this spiel was reading an interview with Kuorkor Dzani, owner of Twists amp; Locs, a natural hair salon in Ghana.(Here’s the link, so you can make sure I am not misrepresenting /spanspan style="background-color: white; color: #b45f06;"Kuorkor’s intent:/spanspan style="color: red;" /spana href="http://dotfaf.com/blog/2009/09/5-minutes-with-kuorkor-dzani-t.php" style="color: red;"http://dotfaf.com/blog/2009/09/5-minutes-with-kuorkor-dzani-t.php/a) nbsp;span style="color: #b45f06;"I was excited about it until I realized what she had to say about her decision to start Twists amp; Locs. She said it was because having our hair relaxed is another manifestation of how self-hating we are as a people and our disdain for and our wish to disassociate ourselves from all things Ghanaian (or something to that effect, at least that is how I understood it). I would like to suggest that her statement is an untrue one, and reeks of the rhetoric used by black people in America/the West (you know, trying to be like white people, etc) when they argue for a shift to natural hair. The American/Western situation may be one thing, but the Ghanaian one is different - or at least that is how I feel, and I have been accused of not seeing things as they are many times, so....it may be that it is I who need my eyes opened./spanbr /div style="color: #b45f06;"br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"But anyway - maybe in the distant past, during colonialism, or whatever, we wanted to be like white people, so we kept our hair straight or whatever...but now it's not so. Our hair is mostly relaxed/straightened because we don't know any better. We are told it's easier that way. And for many people, it is. My hair is very thick, dry, coarse, kinky...it is the poster child for kpenkpeshie hair. You could only comb it once - in the morning, IMMEDIATELY after I showered, and then, it was too thick to comb, too unyielding, and by God, it hurt to comb! As if to spite you, after it was combed, it would begin to knot after about 2 hours, so that by the end of the day, it was matted, horrid-looking, and as dry as heck. My hair has been known to break combs and even stop barbers' electric razors. It was painful to care for. So my mother had it relaxed. Then she tired of that, so we cut off the relaxer and went back to natural. So it was a vicious cycle in my life - a year relaxed, three years natural, a year relaxed, three years natural...and so on and so forth. The last time I relaxed - in 2003, I think, my hair was damaged by the relaxer. But I kept relaxing for 5 years after that - simply because it was more manageable. At least I could COMB it! And at least I could go through the day looking decent!br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"In 2008 I cut off the relaxer and went back to natural because I was in school in the US, and I didn't have the money to be paying for relaxers.nbsp; I used texturizers for a while, and then went chemical-free, downcut - natural, like i had been so many times before.br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"Why did my parents relax my hair? Was it because of a desire to dissociate from Ghanaian-ness? No! Because they didn't know any better! We didn't know how to take care of the hair! It is the same reason back in the day many people gave their kids English names only, or people insisted that you must have an English name - they didn't know any better. First people were given English names (in colonial times) to remove them from their cultural identities and 'whitify' them, then it became the norm, so that you stood out when you didn't have an English name. Plus - it was just more convenient: Who wants to go about having to answer everyone as to why they didn't have an English name? And you know what, I like my name, but sometimes, I just wish I had an English name so people wouldn't bungle my name so much. Do you know that in three years I have rarely heard Naa Kwarley pronounced right? Do you know that most people just call me 'Naa' because the Kwarley is supposedly too much of a mouthful for them to pronounce (and I wouldn't want to hear it anyway - I HATE having my name bungled, even if people can't help it because of their accent or whatever!). Or in Ghana, having an someone call me ‘Naa Korley’ because their ‘Ewe or Akan or Hausa accent won’t allow them to say Kwarley (I won’t even mention how badly Gas mess up my beloved Eyiram). It would be so much easier if I was called Lucille or Morgan, or something like that.nbsp; But my parents gave me only Naa Kwarley Eyiram as my name, to reflect both my ethnic groups, and I love my names. But does that mean my sister and brother who both have English names were given English names because my parents were self-hating? No! Most people don't know better! The same reason we relax our hair is the same reason we think America is the land of Gold (because we don't know any better. I never thought the day would come where I would see a neighborhood in the USA and think the people of Sodom and Gomorrah were better off) and the same reason we give our children English names (sometimes we don't know any better, it's what has always been done, and it is just plain darn more convenient - you want to sort through the naming order of the Gas? Or figure out how to spell Nutifafa in English - they don't even HAVE some of the Ewe alphabet) u2:smallfrac u2:val="off" u2:dispdef u2:lmargin u2:val="0" u2:rmargin u2:val="0" u2:defjc u2:val="centerGroup" u2:wrapindent u2:val="1440" u2:intlim u2:val="subSup" u2:narylim u2:val="undOvr" /u2:narylim /u2:intlim /u2:wrapindent. It doesn't have much to do with self-hatred or a wish to remove ourselves from our Ghanaian-ness. Maybe 400 years ago, that was the case, but certainly not today. /u2:defjc/u2:rmargin/u2:lmargin/u2:dispdef/u2:smallfracbr //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"I have been growing my natural hair out for the past nine months and am learning to take care of it, and I am having a blast. But it is soooooooooo difficult! It is kpenkpeshi of kpenkpeshi. I spend wayyyy more time and money on my hair now that it is natural instead of relaxed becuase natural hair (mine, at least) is so much more difficult to manage. But I am learning, and enjoying it. I won't relax anymore, or straighten because I know I can take care of my hair.br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"I don't know. I was just really disappointed with Kuorkor's assessment of the situation. It sounded like Westernized rhetoric to a problem that is both Western and Ghanaian…and I was disappointed. Or maybe it’s just me reading into things as usual…..br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"br //divdiv style="color: #b45f06;"But congratulations to Kuorkor for Twists and Locs – I will definitely be hollering when I am in Ghana – I WANT THAT FROHAWK!br //divdiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-7240071505243227417?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
3:07
Young Woman II
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Another set of questions I've been pondering lately.....nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; br /br /nbsp;No longer a childbr /But not fully adult br /She must find her way,br /She must find herselfbr /br /Who is she?br /Does she know?br /Do her friends know?br /Her parents?br /br /If they know, can they tell her?br /Will she hear? Will she listen?nbsp;br /Should she listen?br /If they tell -br /Do they tell the truth?br /Do they lie?br /br /What about her God?br /He knows,br /But does He tell? Should He tell?br /If He does,br /Does she hear? Does she listen?br /Can she listen? br /br /How does a young woman find herself? br /Where does she go?br /Does she know?br /Can she go?br /Should she go? br /br /To whom does she go?br /Does she know?br /Can she go?br /Should she go?br /br /How does she go?br /Does she know?br /Should she go?br /br /Is there a right time to go?br /Does she know?br /Should she go? br /br /How, indeed, does a young woman find herself?div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-745590159823922727?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
November 30, 2009
2:22
Welcome, Rwanda!!!
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://www.backdrops.net/images/108%20Celebration%2010%20x%2010.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"img border="0" height="190" src="http://www.backdrops.net/images/108%20Celebration%2010%20x%2010.JPG" width="200" //abr //divYayyyyy!br /Rwanda has finally been accepted to join the Commonwealth of Nations. I am so excited! I was excited when I heard it and I am excited that Rwanda has been allowed to join.br /br /The CHRI (something for human rights) opposed it on human rights grounds - whatever! I have a big problem with these stupid western organizations (yes, CHRI, UNHCR, Amnesty Int'l, and a lot of all the UN groups are Western) go knocking on African countries' human rights records. It simply galls me. It galls me not because they are wrong, but because their view are selective. They see that there is rampant poverty in Ghana, and that the government does nothing to help people in C.A.R, but they never see that there is rampant poverty in the inner cities of America, and that for the most part, the government is not doing much to help a lot of the people that live in some of the poorest places in America. They go trumpeting loudly human rights abuses in and by poor countries and remain largely silent on the abuse and injustice that occur on quite a large scale in the richer countries. Hah! So I tend to pooh-pooh their findings. Their findings may be true, but they are hypocrites.br /br /Besides, especially in Rwanda's case, they have NO right to talk, none at all. The whole world basically stood by and let almost a million people be slaughtered without doing anything. It was the RPFand the Rwandan people (the UN did not do jack, after all, UN soldiers' terms of engagement are laughable)nbsp; that put an end to the genocide. So to hear them talk about 'human rights violations' is laughable. The nerve! The nerve! Idiots! Where were they in 1994? Were they that vocal? Pssssh! Hmph!br /br /That said, Rwanda is trying to make something of itself, and since I think France ought to be ashamed of itself for how it treated Rwanda, I am glad Rwanda can make such a bold move (even if just to spite the French, lol). Rwanda has come a long way since the days of terror, and it has a ways to go yet. Even though they are hypocrites and biased and all sorts of unpalatable things, idiot organizations like CHRI have a point. The human rights abuses cannot be allowed to be continued. But I also know that it takes time. I just pray Rwanda (and Ghana, and all other African countries) will work on improving their (our) record and that the record will actually be improved as time goes by. br /br /I am so happy! This is the best news I've heard all day! Yayyyyy! Stupid CHRI (and until they stop their biased reporting and supercilious attitudenbsp; - acting as if all human rights abuses only exist in places that aren't Western countries - they will remain persona non grata in my book, and their opinions will be met with a "who cares what you think you overbearing idiots" and "MTCHEW!!!" from me at least. Oh I am so pleased Rwanda is now a member of the commonwealth! I am so happy I could dance! br /br /Ok, back to school work!br /br /PS: I CHRI stands for Commonwealth Human Rights Initiative......so.....yeah. But still - hypocrites. Hah! Lack of political freedom - these people are funny! How many countries already in the commonwealth have complete political freedom/ are completely democratic?! Laughable, really. So i reiterate, stupid CHRI, which just seems to comprise idiot people from some part of the commonwealth.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-6580846972696295341?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
November 02, 2009
13:50
Sisterhood
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://www.solarnavigator.net/images/chains_broad_link_ships_anchor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"img border="0" height="199" src="http://www.solarnavigator.net/images/chains_broad_link_ships_anchor.jpg" width="200" //abr //divbr /As usual, instead of buckling down and doing my work, I found my mind wandering.... and I began to think.br /br /I am at a place in my life where it seems like no one feels what I feel. They don't understand my joys or my sorrows. But that really isn't true. The things I feel may be unique to me, and I may feel them acutely, but they are nothing special (special to me, mebbe, but not to the rest of the world), especially not to women.nbsp; br /br /Women throughout the ages have had the same feelings, have found themselves in the situations I find myself in - pain, joy, hope, despair - none of it is new. And even now, millions of women the world over experience the same things that I experience, and struggle with the same things that I struggle. And that is a wonderful thought, init? It's all shared. br /br /The thing that makes me, a Ghanaian woman, happy, is the exact same thing that made an Inca woman and a Xhosa woman happy two centuries ago, and it is the same thing that makes a Nigerian woman and an American woman happy even now!br /br /And the same thing that makes me curl up in my bed and weep is the same thing that made the Greek woman and the Indian woman cry a thousand years ago, and it is the same thing that makes the Kenyan Woman and the Swiss woman cry even now.br /br /It is a shared humanity, shared with other women from the beginning of time. We truly are not alone, we are never alone. And never has it felt so good to know I am not that special!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-4290970989231289785?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
October 29, 2009
2:28
God might be a Ghanaian after all
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Ok, I still have seven more Olympians to go through, but we're taking a break for now.br /br /But yeah - sometimes I can believe God is a Ghanaian. I see Him in so many of the Ghanaians I find everywhere I turn.br /I see Jesus in my mother and father - how they painstakingly care for us.br /I see Him in my friends who love me just as I ambr /I see Him in certain doctors, who patiently and lovingly reach out healing hands and knowledge to their suffering patientsbr /I see Him in the little girl who happily claps her hands as she sings in Sunday schoolbr /I see Him in the well-dressed man who stopped to help us push our car when it broke down and would take no payment after thatbr /I see Him in the waakye seller who gives the madman that frequents her place some free waakye, feeding him for the day, even if just to get him away from her customers.br /I see Him in the passion with which people discuss politics and footballbr /I see Him in the concern (mixed with nosiness) with which people pry into their neighbors' livesbr /I see Him in the pastor who truly cares for his congregation and does not fleece thembr /I see Him when I see the little boy who's selling water by the roadside forget all his troubles and laugh gailybr /I see Him when I see my classmates weeping at the funeral of our mate who died too young br /And I see him in this most wonderful doctor I have met since I left the shores of Ghana.br /I really see God in the non-judgmental but firm way in which she handles her patients.br /I see Jesus in the comfortable atmosphere she provides, so that they won't feel judgedbr /I see Him in the firm rebuke she offers, so they don't think they can just do as they please and not heed her instructions.br /br /All this and many more in the many Ghanaians I've met at home and abroad. Yes, sometimes, I think God is a Ghanaian (He just got lost in Palestine for a while, lol).br /br /PS: One can see Jesus in any group of people, I am just saying - sometimes......div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-6770135609162012014?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
October 12, 2009
17:38
My Friend Poseidon
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://bitsnbytesoflife.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/poseidon_sculpture_copenhagen_20051.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"img border="0" height="200" src="http://bitsnbytesoflife.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/poseidon_sculpture_copenhagen_20051.jpg" width="198" //abr //divbr /Earthshaker.br /How can someone so traditional at timesbr /Be so avant garde at others?br /Sometimes he bears and supports youbr /Other times he is against youbr /And makes his displeasure tangiblebr /br /Stormbringer.br /When he feels an injustice had been donebr /Or a moral has been dispensed withbr /He brings to bear his full disapprovalbr /Like a storm bearing down on a hapless sea vesselbr /Calm one moment,br /Tumultous the nextbr /br /Father of Horses.br /Behind his seriousness liesnbsp; br /Playfulness, Creativity br /Silliness, evenbr /br /Sometimes ally, sometimes foebr /Sometime calm, sometimes fierybr /Sometimes serious, sometimes playfulbr /Always wise, always loyalbr /br /Earthshaker. Stormbringer. Father of horsesbr /My friend Poseidondiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-1707789214661668756?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
October 09, 2009
23:43
Mr Friend Artemis
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/UNC/UNC187/u12691918.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"img border="0" height="197" src="http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/UNC/UNC187/u12691918.jpg" width="200" //abr //divbr /She's the goddess of the huntbr /Always, there's something she's reaching for, aspiring tobr /With her, there's always something to be solved,br /A problem to be overcomebr /br /Her conquests are quite spectacularbr /Olympus' Artemis had her Nemean Lion (well, not really)br /My Artemis has the problems of Africa within targetbr /br /My Artemis is no maiden goddessbr /What maiden?br /Her? "No way!" she'll tell youbr /Well, she yet remains a maidenbr /br /But sooner or laterbr /She'll get her groove onbr /And my friend Artemis will no longer a maiden bebr /But she'll always be a formidable huntress,br /br /Like the moon, she also reflects a haunting radiance,br /But a radiance not her ownbr /She reflects the radiance of the Sun of Righteounsess,br /The Lord, The Creator of heaven and Earthbr /br /Now a maiden, not always to be onebr /Hunter extraordinaire,br /Radiant moon goddess,br /Protector of the wild,br /Fierce Lover, br /My friend Artemisdiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-4567181087002997711?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
October 08, 2009
3:42
My Friend Hephaestus
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://images-3.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/944347-2-hephaestus-fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"img border="0" height="134" src="http://images-3.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/944347-2-hephaestus-fire.jpg" width="200" //abr //divbr /Olympus's was lame and misshapen of body, but not mine.br /My Hephaestus,he's misshapen alright, but of spirit - br /In a world where we are perpetually rushed, guarded, and self-seeking, hot-tempered,br /my Hephaestus is caring, patient, unhurried, level-headed. br /br /Like the blacksmith god, he's lame too,br /albeit his is a character flaw, not a bodily one,but it's just as painful to behold.br /div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"br //divHe's not an Ironsmith like the Olympianbr /But the delight he takes in his craft is just as evident:br /And what beautiful and intricate fruits result from this labor!br /They are things of great beauty, and durable, too.br /Also, his character is like his works - beautiful, dependable, forged by firebr /br /His person, his works - they speak for themselvesbr /Even with all his flaws,br /My friend Hephaestus, like his works, is a thing of great beauty to behold.br /One word that sums up this my friend:br /Precious!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-800070247838598881?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
October 07, 2009
2:14
My Friend Athena
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

div style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;" /spanbr /div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7Oba8e-ljGE/SswSZ_i7ODI/AAAAAAAAAEA/TilkCzaAi0o/s1600-h/owl_cartoon_kwp1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7Oba8e-ljGE/SswSZ_i7ODI/AAAAAAAAAEA/TilkCzaAi0o/s200/owl_cartoon_kwp1.png" //abr //divbr /span style="font-size: small;"Looking at her, it is no wonder people say she sprang full-grown from the head of her father Zeus./spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"That must be it, for there is no other explanation for how a one so young should be so full of wisdom!/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"The word you'd use to describe apart from 'wise' would be 'gentle' /spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"Yet her gentle manner belies the steeliness of her convictions./spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"She doesn't rush, she won't debate;/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"She'll disarm you with a smile, and conquer you with her sagacity/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"You wouldn't call her exuberant (she is gentle after all)/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"But, my friend Athena, her ijoie de vivre/i is evident wherever she goes/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"It just bubbles, simmers, churns, and overflows from her person. /spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"They say "By wise counsel wage war"/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"You wouldn't want my friend Athena as your enemy./spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"She won't ever make haste to defeat you,/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"But - mark it - defeat you she will./spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"Add her wisdom and her gentle, unassuming manner to that winning smile of hers -/spanbr //divdiv style="font-family: quot;Trebuchet MSquot;,sans-serif;"span style="font-size: small;"my friend Athena is one heck of a lady!/spanbr //divdiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-1236113405027145732?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
October 06, 2009
20:06
The Twelve Olympians
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

I adore the Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series (yeah, yeah, I know - juvenile, but I love Greek mythology, so sue me)...and I am inspired! I'm going to create profiles from 12 people I know, each one for an Olympian! Que exciting!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-2506658906253768190?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
September 26, 2009
19:49
Sin.....
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

In my recent devotions, the subject of sin has come up a lot lately. And funnily enough, I am reading about 'both sides' of the issue (which is really one side in the end). One moment I am reading about how holy God is, and how He can't stand sin, and how He will judge and punish sin; the very next moment, I am reading about how loving God is, and how He will cleanse and forgive any sin if we come to Him asking for forgiveness - about how when we come in our sin, He won't judge, or rebuke, or anything, he'll just cleanse us anew and will give us the Holy Spirit to help us overcome sin.br /br /Of course, it set me thinking (which, lately, is becoming an excuse for procrastination) about how I react to sin. Of course, when it's a sin that affects me too, I am quick to remember the mercy of God and how He'll forgive us so long as we just ask. When it is a sin that doesn't affect me, I am MUCH slower to remember that God forgives (I am more quick to remember that God judges sin). Hah!!br /br /And sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously, no (at least I do...)? All the beating ourselves up about our sins, especially the ones that are persistent. How we beat ourselves up, and how we beat others up too!! Butnbsp; the Bible says that God remembers that we are dust. I am trying to remember that more these days. If nothing, it helps me cut other people some slack.br /br /But yeah!! Knowing that even though God hates sin, He will always forgive me when I come to Him is very liberating - I can come into His presence anytime, just as I am, not just when I am ok with Him. It's quite dizzying, actually, now that I've stopped to think about it, and it's one more of the many mercies of God to be thankful for!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-4430908002863633444?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
September 05, 2009
18:12
Memories, Memories
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

I love literature, and fancy that I can write well. That is, I can write fiction or anything prosaic satisfactorily. At least I thought so until I encountered people whose writing is absolutely magical.br /br /However, one thing I can't write well is poetry. I am bad at it. Just the other day I was reminiscing about my creative writing class in high school and all the poetry we were made to write. Then my IB SL French class came along, and we were required to write haiku. I really liked one of the haiku I wrote for that class, and i remember it vividly even today.br /br /Les fleurs se grandissentbr /Et les animeaux sont nesbr /Tous dans le printempsbr /br /loose tr: The flowers come outbr / And the animals are bornbr / All in the springtimebr /br /It sounds way more beautiful in French, doesn't it? Then again, French has that effect on a lot of things.br /br /Now isn't that lovely?div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-8819823268872193375?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
August 19, 2009
1:46
If the heat's too much.....
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Get out of the kitchen. The Liberian Rape episode in the US and a bollywood movie I was watching yesterday just set me thinking, and as usual, I became sad and angry. The movie was about a girl(Chand) who got married and shipped off to join her husband in Canada. Well, her husband lived with his brother and his wife, AND his mother and father. The family was struggling to get the other siblings from India into America. Rocky (Chand's husband)was abusive to her. The catch though is that many a time, the abuse was precipitated by Rocky's mother, although even without his mother's influence, Rocky was still plenty abusive. She would provoke Chand, and when Chand would react, would get Rocky to hit Chand (In fact, Chand and Rocky didn't have a wedding night because the mother broke interrupted). The entire family sat back and watched the abuse and said nothing (except the father, but he was old and feeble....). Chand worked with her sister-in-law at some sweatshop/factory. A jamaican woman noticed Chand's bruises and inquired after them. Chand's sister-in-law told the woman Chand had walked into a door. When the woman suggested calling 911, the sis-in-law said "we take care of our own problems [in our community]"br /br /Do we, really? Now I know that in our society (here I'm talking about Ghana) there are provisions for abuse, or at least there are supposed to be. I remember learning that just as you get elders to agree to a marriage, if the guy was abusing you, you tell your family, a gathering of elders from both families are set up, the grievance aired, and the guy given a warning. If the abuse persists, another meeting is set up, and the customary stuff is returned, and the marriage is null and void. That was how I learned that our society protects women from abuse in marriage. But how often does that happen? How many women get helped that way? Do we even care enough to get the elders and stuff all gathered up? Will the woman's grievances get a fair hearing? After all, I've heard of so many women who are abused who are told "fa ma Nyame (leave it to God)," "that is the lot you get in life, so bear with it," or "be patient, he will change".... Why can't we leave it to God and still get the woman to safety? Why can't she be patient while waiting for him to change far away from him, so he does not continue the abuse?br /br /I also refuse to believe men think abuse is well deserved or even okay, no matter how patriarchal the society was in which they were raised. Unless you are a sociopath, or a deviant, you cannot tell me that kicking a woman as she is rolled up in a ball on the floor, or slapping her, or hitting her in any way shape or form is justified, for any reason. You cannot tell me that they don't know deep down that it's wrong. And it's simply cowardice to hit someone weaker than you, no matter how much they provoke you. How much more if you hit someone just because you can! Oh, they know alright, no matter how deep down, they do. It's just that they can get away with it, so they do it.br /br /In the movie, Rocky's mother..... she's one of those people who can't let her sons love anyone else, so she incites her son to abuse. She pressures him to get married, and then is afraid her son will be 'taken away from her' (whatever that means), so she abuses her daughter-in-law. How? And of course Indian society protects her (just as Ghanaian society would), because she is an adult, and of course adults are NEVER wrong, and you can't just reprimand an adult or disobey them. You don't wan't to be disrespectful. Why? There is no way I can respect a woman who abuses her daughter-in-law, who tells her son to hit his wife, who interrupts her son's wedding night because she's insecure. That's not adult behavior - it's juvenile, sophomoric (cool word, hehe). WHY does our society protect people like this? Again, you can't tell me it's all she knows - deep down, she also KNOWS that is wrong. Mebbe when she was a young wife her mother-in-law treated her like that also. THAT is all the more reason why she should treat her daughter-in-law like a human being! Because we're hurt doesn't excuse our hurting someone else.br /br /Rocky abuses his wife partly because his mother wants him to (and partly because he's an abuser) - not to do so would be to disrespect his mother's wishes. He can't tell her off, because a child cannot gainsay (other fun word) a parent. Why? Parents are not God, and even God was questioned by people, and the Israelites usually disobeyed him. So who are parents? How I wished Rocky would be a man and tell her off. I was so proud of Chand when she pushed her mother-in-law to the ground when the woman was being mean and all up in her face (although Chand did not mean to push her mother-in-law. She was only trying to stop the woman spitting in her face or hitting her. I would have pushed her deliberately, the hothead that i am).br /br /Chand had nowhere to go. She was all alone in Canada, her husband had her pay directly sent to his account, and they would not let her call her family in India. She can't call 911. No one is willing to advocate for her. We take care of our own problems. We don't need the police. Really? Do we really take care of our problems? Can we? Are we willing to take care of them? I have not finished watching the movie, but I surely will. She had noone to help her.br /br /Anyway, so now I am all sad and bothered. When will we stop beign pushed around by adults that behave like children? When will men be men and realise that being abusive is a sign of weakness and not strength? And when at all will women stand up for themselves? Will we even be allowed to stand up for ourselves? God help us all.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-748740153959232379?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
August 07, 2009
22:06
Is This Africa?
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

span style="font-family:georgia;"It is all well and good to carp on and on about the negative image Africa has in the Western media, but truly, truly - is it really any different from the image we Africans hold of ourselves in our deepest darkest hearts? We seem to have assimilated it into our consciousness, that nothing African (well, at least not many things) is really worthwhile. /spanbr /br /span style="font-family:georgia;"Why else would people get offended (when I was growing up) that I didn't have an English name? Many people would insist that my name was my 'house name', and that I was supposed to have an English name (although, that trend is changing, I am glad to say)./span Even I myself was chagrined I didn't have an English name. I even went through a phase where I chose an English name for myself because I wanted one so badly. Luckily, it didn't work (although...there is nothing wrong with having an English name - i just didn't understand why people got so offended at the lack thereof).br /br /span style="font-family:georgia;"Almost always we speak disparagingly of our own, and when we compare what we have with what developed nations have, we invariably fall short. Why won't we, when we use the wrong criteria? We always complain of our doctors, comparing them to Western ones - oh how exalted they are in our eyes. For the life of me I can't see why. We are hasty to draw comparisons, quick to forget that we are talking with skewed perceptions and standards./spanbr /br /span style="font-family:georgia;"We make haste to talk about our poverty (which must be talked about), but we always forget to mention our OWN who are working to eradicate it - but how quick we are to acknowledge some foreign NGO or person who works to eradicate poverty!/spanspan /spanspan style="font-family:georgia;"We are quick to get our education and leave for greener pastures, because our own pastures are not green enough..../spanbr /br /span style="font-family:georgia;"Anyway, the reason for this disjointed ramblings is because i remembered something my aunt told me. My aunt and her family live in Kaneshie, in a neighborhood that is...okay. The houses are in nice orderly rows, not too far away from a group of haphazard shacks; the roads are not paved. The point I am trying to get across is that it is not a ritzy place, but not too shabby either. One day her husband (my uncle, of course, lol) was driving with Sena, then four years old, in the backseat. They were driving in Chorkor or Jamestown, that area of town (a shantytown). Sena takes one look outside and turns to my uncle and says span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);""/span/spanspan style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102); font-weight: bold;font-family:georgia;"span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);"Daddy, is this Africa/span?/spanspan style="color: rgb(255, 255, 102);font-family:georgia;""/spanbr /br /span style="font-family:georgia;"What do you say to something like that? Sena, only 4 years old, has already started learning it. Africa only has to do with places like Chorkor and Bukom, and not places like her Kaneshie house. It is only about illiterate people and not people whose parents gave their all to give them an education so they may have a better life. It is only about the village without electricity, and not the village with community where everyone one helps each other. It is about children dying of malaria and not doctors working to save them. It is about doctors who go on strike but not doctors who work under trying circumstances and for little to no remuneration./span She learned it not only from the Western media, but from all of us.br /br /She learned it when she went to church and realized that they were gradually phasing out all the local songs in favor of English songs, all in the name of 'internationalism' (as if languages aren't a part of internationalism, or as if you can only glorify God if you can sing in English). She learns it when she hears of the Rwandan genocide, but not of the Rwandan Patriotic Front; when she hears of Somalia and not Botswana; when she reads about Mobutu but not Paul Kagame.br /br /span style="font-family:georgia;"I have always said it and i will always say it: the bad things about Africa abound, and we need to identify them and harp on about them until we and our leaders fix them. But good things also abound in this land of ours, and we need to remember them, to give us hope, to renew our faith in this land we fight for./spanbr /br /span style="font-family:georgia;"Ngugi wa Thiongo says that "the story which we have to tell cannot be told for us by others, no matter how well-intentioned..." Well, our story has been told -for us and by us. So far, all the verses sound like dirges. But we have many many songs of rejoicing too. Let them be told, so our children can see, so that they'll understand that Chorkor and North Kaneshie are both Africa!/spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-2473245586995478753?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
July 25, 2009
13:35
Blaming the Victim
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

There's a brouhaha (I love, lOVE this word, btw) about to begin in the US. A couple of days ago, I read that a policeman heard some screams, followed the sound, and saw c four boys running away from the directions of the screams. Well, what they were running away from is the place where they had just gang-raped an eight year old girl (she was the one screaming. And these boys were young, between 9 and 14 years! Where do they learn such horrible stuff - or think it okay to do? Well, anyway, it turns out this is a Liberian neighborhood in Arizona. The girl is taken to the police station, to get evidence from her body and stuff, so they can press charges and put these boys in juve or sentence them to psychiatric visits to get them help (I don't care what anyone says about the criminal justice system - if you can start raping people at 9 YEARS of age, then you can stay in jail or handle what the system throws at you - how!). And of course, feelings are running high.br /br /Guess what? The sister of the raped girl, speaking for the family, had the unimaginable GALL to say this - I told her that we don't like what she's doing, she shouldn't be pressing charges, we are all the same people, we are from the same place, this news will get back to Liberia and shame us..." ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you kidding?!?! So when at all will we learn that RAPE is NOT a crime on the victim's part - that NOTHING justifies rape? The news SHOULD get to Liberia and you know who should be ashamed - those shameless boys!! They should be ashamed of themselves, learning to rape at such a young age........br /br /So when at all do we learn to stop blaming the victims? But thank goodness social services have taken the girl away from her family. Now they can live their lives without shame - they should be stuck in jail for child abandonment just for their nasty behavior!div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-3512701404902184917?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
July 09, 2009
0:34
Hmph!
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

This post is simply in retaliation to a 'friend' who shall remain nameless because she said she did not read this blog often because I don't update it every day. Can you imagine!br /You know who you are, hmph! The reason I don't update often, is bcos I am listening to you! This is all i have to say to you:br /Nanaiama!br /Dambrede Scosco!br /Babki KABANKA!br /Legless one!br /Hmph! :)div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-4128628597218216922?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
June 27, 2009
2:58
Young Woman
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"How does a young woman keep her way pure?/spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"How does a young woman come into her own? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"How does a young Christian woman walk with her God, /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"Now that she is no longer a child?/spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"Do things change? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"Do they remain the same? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"Is she still a child in His eyes? An adult? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"How does a young woman find her identity? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"Am I enough, as I am? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"Am I not?br /Am I ever going to be enough? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"What at all is enough? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"How does a young woman find her way? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 0);"How indeed, does a young woman keep her way pure? /spanbr /br /br /span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"Been pondering these questions for awhile now....../spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-8735397621329109552?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
April 21, 2009
19:36
Pregnant Girls and High School
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

I just read this article on myjoynline.com which stated that 8 girls from the Brong Ahafo region who were supposed to be sitting for their BECE exams are pregnant.br /My first thought is "and so what?"br /To be sure, teenage pregnancy is an issue which must be addressed, and has its own complications, and as a country we need to educate people about protective and preventative methods (abstinence, condom use, whatever), so that young girls don't become pregnant.br /BUT what has being pregnant got to do with intellectual competence? What does being pregnant have to do with the BECE? Does passing the BECE depend on whether or not there is a child in one's uterus? Why should being pregnant be linked to the BECE at all?div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-1561504371659945117?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
March 08, 2009
3:24
In and Out of Time
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

Still on the subject of (love) poetry, here's one I came across, written by Maya Angelou - que hermosa!br /br /In and Out of Timebr /br /The sun has comebr /The mist has gonebr /We see in the distancebr /Our long way homebr /I was always yours to havebr /You were always minebr /We have loved each otherbr /In and out of timebr /When the first stone lookedbr /Up at the blazing sunbr /And the first tree struggledbr /Up from the forest floorbr /I had always loved you morebr /You freed your braidsbr /Gave your hair to the breezebr /It hummed like a hive of honey beesbr /I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....br /God...how I love your hairbr /You saw me bludgeoned by circumstancebr /Lost, injured, hurt by chancebr /I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....br /Trying to change our nightmares to dreams...br /The sun has come.br /The mist has gonebr /We see in the distancebr /Our long way homebr /I was always yours to havebr /You were always minebr /We have loved each otherbr /in and outbr /in and outbr /in and out of time.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-8078094205052020607?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
March 07, 2009
23:13
How Do I Love Thee?
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

I think it's (sonnet?) 43, written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning for her husband Robert Browning (was he her boyfriend then?) And it is one of my most favorite poems ever. Sometimes I feel like that about my home (Ghana), and sometimes i feel like that about a few people. Enjoy.br /br /How do I love thee?br /Let me count the ways.br /I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightbr /My soul can reach, when feeling out of sightbr /For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.br /I love thee to the level of everyday'sbr /Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.br /I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;br /I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.br /I love thee with a passion put to usebr /In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.br /I love thee with a love I seemed to loseWith my lost saints,br /--- I love thee with the breath,Smiles, tears, of all my life!br /--- and, if God choose,I shall but love thee better after death.div class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-7159252042620460810?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
February 19, 2009
3:00
(Rant) Why hate on Ghana's healthcare system?
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"I mean, this is not new. Since I was born, we have been complaining about the healthcare system. I did it when i was in Ghana, and now that i am in school in the US, I get to sit in class and read books that tell me how horrible 'third-world' health systems are (oh, yeah, and i get to hear about how my country is a third world country, which is true). /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"But this summer, I got a grant from HC, and went off to hang out with my friends at Korle-bu who were medical student, i got to go to the labor ward at La General Hospital, and I got to hang out in the pediatric ward of 37 military, and i have to say how impressed I was. We always talk about what we don't have - all the machines and all the equipment, and all of that stuff. What about what we do have - excellent doctors and nurses and midwives? This summer, watching how /spanspan style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"effortlessly /spanspan style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Dr. Boadi and his team performed their C-sections was like....all i know is that i can trust them 100% to gimme a C-section as and when I need one (and no, I don't trust yankee doctors). All throughout my summer internships, I saw healthcare professionals who made do with what they had (and didn't have), and were pretty darned excellent at their job. /spanbr /br /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Oh by the way, screw the harping on and on about how expensive healthcare is. It is DIRT cheap by ANY standard you employ. I paid about 1GHC to get one of my immunization shots before i left for college. And i paid less than GHC10 (i think) to get my blood analysed. Where else is that possible? The US, for all its innovations and whatever, can't get me a better deal. /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"We are so quick to condemn our doctors and nurses, and compare them to Western countries, but doesn't anyone notice that they deal with other issues? Put all those Western doctors in Korle-bu, and lets see if they will fare any better!/spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Our doctors and nurses, are either mean or haughty, which is true (for quite a number of them). But who says in the rest of the world (read: western world), doctors are not haughty and don't talk down to patients or refuse to listen to them? And if any of those doctors and nurses in those other places are as overworked and understaffed as ours are, you think they won't be grumpy and mean too? Pls!/spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"br /Our healthcare systems= is bad, true, but the evils of our healthcare system have been talked about enough, and someone ought to speak about the good, show our appreciation to the people who work so hard and are so adept at taking care of our sick. I for one am in awe of our doctors and nurses. Who wants Dr. Ben Carson when you can have Prof. Lassey, and Dr. Ladzekpo, and Dr. Boadi - def. not me. /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"I am glad i went home this past summer. Now, more than ever, I don't want to go to Jefferson, or JHU, Mayo med sch. I want to go to UGMS, I am that impressed with the caliber of the doctors and teachers there. And now when anyone asks which doctors i want to be like, I don't go off rattling Christiaan Barnard or Paul Farmer or any of those people anymore. I am now armed with a whole repertoire (is that the correct word in this context?) of Ghanaian doctors who i want to be like someday. Heck, this summer at Korle-Bu I met a doctor with my name (UGMS class of 2007). Foreshadowing, anyone? /spanbr /span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);"Ok - I need to go off and do my work now...../spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-1176786132841128709?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div
February 16, 2009
2:14
Lol
» ‎ Home Sweet Home

span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);font-family:trebuchet ms;" My very first blog post. So I finally join the world of blogging. /spandiv class="blogger-post-footer"img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/8238617933312958264-2836460179721274620?l=kwarlizzle.blogspot.com' alt='' //div

← Holli's ramblings I HEART ACCRA →

Free Web Hosting by Web4Africa

Feeds

Home Sweet Home (29 unread)

A Serious Question - well, 6 of them

When will this foolishness end?

The Thing With Feathers

An Old Type of Foolishness

What would you rather : the journey or the destination?

The Money-Grabbers

Christmas and New Years.....

This whole natural hair debate thing

Young Woman II

Welcome, Rwanda!!!

Sisterhood

God might be a Ghanaian after all

My Friend Poseidon

Mr Friend Artemis

My Friend Hephaestus

My Friend Athena

The Twelve Olympians

Sin.....

Memories, Memories

If the heat's too much.....

Is This Africa?

Blaming the Victim

Hmph!

Young Woman

Pregnant Girls and High School

In and Out of Time

How Do I Love Thee?

(Rant) Why hate on Ghana's healthcare system?

Lol